𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑮𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒚| 2

39: Insecure🔓

This shout-out goes to lolaotas Love you, B!! Pls, check out her new book "The Villain" whenever you hv the time ❤️

Asa

OF COURSE I WASN'T OKAY WITH ARIEL COMING OVER! was all I could think about as I fumbled around in my room, looking for what to wear.

But the last thing I wanted to do is play the part of a jealous, mistrustful girlfriend.

The fact that everything Ariel said to me at the party got to me was not something I liked to remember or dwell on... Or worse... Let Kam see.

That was the only reason I pretended like I was fine with everything.

But now, I regretted it.

Ariel was going to be pulling up in our driveway in a couple of minutes and I wanted to... Impress her?

I stopped from reaching for a rubber band, my heart, thundering in my chest...

Was that why?

Why I was so panicked and disoriented and worried about my appearance?

I wanted to look better than her... To be better than her. To prove that I deserved Kam. That I could keep him.

I sat at my vanity, staring at myself. My hair, already a month old, was fraying at the edges, tufts of black, woolly hair, already escaping the faux locs.

Should I loosen it and just let it out of the locs?

I stared at the clock over me.

No. No time...

But I don't look good enough.

I glared at the wild, almost frantic look in my eyes. My large forehead. Frantic black eyes. Overly Sharp chin... Things that have never bothered me before.

What is wrong with me? Where are these insecurities coming from?

Sighing, I decided to pack my hair in an elegant messy bun Kosi tried teaching me some days before.

I tried... I really tried, but I only ended up tangling the locs into each other.

Agh! I groaned in frustration. What is happening to me?

I gripped the table in front of me, staring hard at my reflection.

You're not his usual type, you know?

I ground my teeth.

Thoughts of Ariel were dark places I hated to venture on my own. I remembered everything about her. Her dark brown skin. That vicious smile that could cut through steel. Eyes that literally reined you in the moment you look at them. Sweet poison on her tongue.

She affected me, that girl... I didn't hate her... No, she had even more power over me than that.

I was intimidated by her. Her courage, as admirable as was despicable, her beauty, that i was both pleased and disappointed with, her Instagram account, brimming with likes and followers.