I hate my life so much,well I don't actually I only hate the parts where the world decides to place me in awkward situations.Take this one as an example.
Once again I blindly signed up for a deal with Payton,and now I have to film a music video with him.Oh and the guy who I've been going on dates with I'd also here.
"We should get going,I'm sure we're needed in the meeting room" I say quickly trying to escape.
The boys give me a confused look but dont bother saying anything,they just follow behind me in complete silence.The tension between us all was unbearable,and something tells me that Payton knows that theres something going on between Tom and I.And I have the strangest feeling that Tom is suspicious of me and Payton.
Just as were about to go into the meeting room Tom holds me back,grabbing onto my wrist."He's the ex isn't he?" He whispers
I just nod slowly giving Tom an apologetic smile,walking into the room and taking my seat.There's a lot of people here,probably costume planners, makeup artists,directors and so on
Payton waits for us all to enter before starting with his presentation.Seeing him up there is weird,I never got to experience him in this sort of environment,I never got to see him make the music video for love letter.
But I remember him taking me to the studio,to record my part.And how he opened upto me about what music meant to him.I don't remember the exact moment I fell in love with him,which saddens me.Maybe I wasn't actually in love with him in the first place.Maybe it was all just fake love.
"So as I'm singing "all these thoughts of you and me" I want flashback of me and Abi together doing couply things like going on dates,dancing together.I want the images to flash so it will be me lying in bed and then transition to Abi lying in bed.Thats when I say " I can't seem to fall asleep" So it's basically a story of two lost lovers trying to over come their biggest habit which is eachother."Payton explains showing the stick drawings he did so that Tom and the director know what his vision is for the music video.
Tom has been taking notes the entire time,doodling down ideas and camera angles as Payton speaks.I've just been sitting and watching.With no idea what is happening.All that I know is I'll have to do something and Tom will have to film it.
"So I'll leave you two here to focus on the storyline,and camera angles and stuff.I need Abi with me,I'm going to show her the song and see what she thinks of it."
Tom looks up,watching me almost as if he was expecting me to react in some way.He then gives a thumbs up to Payton and turns to speak to the director.
Now it's just him and me.
Walking out the room I follow Payton to the studio,the same one we went to when we first met.
"I remember this place" I say walking round.
"I don't come here much anymore"
Is it because it reminds him of me and he can't stand the pain of remembering old memories.
"I renovated my room back home into a studio so I don't need this one"
Oh-
Payton sits on the chair,pulling up one besides him so that I can sit.The last time we were this close we kissed.A lot.
We never did speak about that,and part of me wants to know if he felt the same way I did when we kissed.For one small moment my heart was complete again.
Now it has a hole.
He hands me the headphones and begins to play the song,I just sit back and listen,bobbing my head to the melody of the song.
