[ JJK ] falling in love all over again.

chapter 31

[ all fan fiction ; not real ]

jungkook walked into his classroom with his bag over his shoulder, his eyes were puffy from crying yesterday and his skin was much paler.

as he reached his desk he found a letter waiting for him. it had a strawberry sticker and a sticky note sticking on to it.

" i was told to give you this - jimin"

opening up the letter, he found a folded piece of paper. opening up the paper and found someone's familiar handwriting.

" i want strawberry macaroons."

—————

opening the door, jungkook welcomed himself in the small hospital room. the smell of the rubbing alcohol filled his nostrils as he carried the bag of strawberry macaroons. he saw you sitting up looking outside the window as you always did.

you turned your head around and instantly smiled at jungkook, waving at him. jungkook didn't have any face expression on, his eyes were even more lifeless than when you first met him.

" i brought you your strawberry macaroons..."

you instantly reached out your hands for the bag , your fingers fiddling. he gave you the bag as you smiled brightly.

you couldn't talk anymore, so he would guess what you were trying to say by your hand gestures and face expressions.

you reached for your notebook and started to write down something.

" let's go eat these on the rooftop together!"

" but it's cold outside?"

" then give me your hoodie."

————-

he carried you up the stairs piggyback style, since you couldn't walk anymore. your arms wrapped around his neck felt so warm to jungkook.

she was so light, her touch was warm and gentle. wishing i can just hug her all day, everyday. everything about her was so her, she loved stuffed animals, she has a sweet tooth. she's an ordinary girl. she's fragile yet she's strong.

he reached the door which led to the rooftop, opening the door , you were both welcomed by the cold breeze. you could see the yellow orange trees from the top view.

jungkook set you down on a bench , you were wearing his hoodie. even though it was large on you, you looked so breathtaking in it to him. you began eating the soft macaroons as you looked up at the sky, enjoying the cool breeze.

jungkook handed you your notebook as you started to write down something.

" how are your practices going? are you singing well?"

" i'm not singing at the gala anymore."

" i expected that. you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself."

as soon as jungkook read that , he rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he turned around so you couldn't see his face anymore. he didn't want you to see his emotions, he didn't want to make you even more gloomy than you already are.

" i quit music again. i can't do it anymore, music just keeps reminding me of what i lost. and now i'm going to be alone." whispered softly jungkook as he stared at the concrete floor.

i lost my mother, and now i'm going to loose you.

" but you have me."

jungkook heart stopped as he quickly turned around at the sound of your voice. you were smiling as you held the notebook in front of you.

" i've been taking speech therapy classes, i still can't sing and i still can't talk for long but there's a chance they can fix me. i'm going to get surgery.
the surgery is set for the 23rd. nobody knows if it's going to work but they said there's a chance so i'm taking it! and it's all your fault i'm going through with this."

it's all your fault i'm putting up this , it's your fault why i want to keep living. it's your fault why i continued to sing. you're why i can't give up jungkook.

you quickly flipped the next page, quickly scribbling down something as jungkook watched you.

" so why don't you continue to fight for what you love? keep struggling so we'll both be struggling. as an artist, it's life or death everytime we take the microphone. it's what we do."

he read your words, he could still hear your voice clearly as if you were saying that. he looked down as his fists were tightening.

" my stage fright isn't even gone. what if i managed to crack my voice or forget the lyrics. i can't y/n." he ranted as he kept his eyes on the floor.

" you're looking down again..." he heard you say, he looked up to see you struggling to stand up. you stood up as you looked up at the sky, trying to catch a falling leaf.

you wanted to touch the soft fluffy grey clouds, you felt the autumn breeze blowing through your hair. you wanted to sing, you wanted to sing with jungkook. just one more time, one final time.

your legs suddenly gave up on you but before you fell  jungkook caught you in his arms.

you giggled softly as you clutched onto jungkooks long sleeve shirt.

" in the way you have me, i have you. i d-don't know m-much about you but i know...." you said hoarsely, your voice cracked every now and then.

" i want keep living for you. i'm scared! i don't wanna die!!" your grip was now tightening , clutching onto his sleeve as jungkook watched you buried your head into his chest.

" jungkook don't go! don't leave me alone!" you cried out, sobbing into his chest.

jungkook smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around you. softly crying with you too, the cold air touching his warm tears.

i'm a moron, i believed you would be ok.

i'll sing for you. that way, we can sing again together after. one final time.

———

watching this scene hurt so much.