For Our Love

Fifty Six

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Originally published: 08th September 2020

Jasmina

Hania's skin was burning when I picked her up shortly after Papa had left my room.

I'd completely freaked out and had started calling out to whoever was listening. Arhaan Bhai, who'd just returned home, rushed in immediately, and before I knew it, we were on our way to the hospital.

"Oh, Jasmina." Hania's doctor, Dr Shehzad, looked sympathetic. "Bringing her to Lahore in a coach was not a very good idea, I'm afraid. There are normally so many people in that closed environment and Hania could have been exposed to anything." 

"I-Is she going to be okay?" My voice trembled.

"Well, she's too young, so no medication at the moment." She stepped aside to let me pick Hania up. "You need to take normal precautions, like you do when someone gets the flu. I would suggest that for now, only you and Dr Fawad go anywhere near her. Minimise the exposure, by minimising the amount of people who go near her. Wash your hands thoroughly before touching Hania. Fluids are very important, so try and feed her as much as possible. She will resist, but it's important for her, as well as plenty of sleep." 

"It is just a flu, right?" I was worried. "She'll get better, right?"

"In Sha Allah." The doctor took a seat on her chair at the desk, and I sat opposite her. "It's just that because she's so young, she's extra vulnerable. I recommend that she's not taken out anymore, unless it's really necessary. Avoid public places right now. A walk in your own garden is fine, but not where there are other people from the public present." 

I nodded.

Holding Hania carefully in my arms, I left the office after Dr Shehzad gave me some further information leaflets. Arhaan Bhai was waiting outside, and he walked me to the car.

"I called Fawad." He told me, quietly.

My heart was in my throat as I got into the car beside my brother. If things had been bad between me and my husband before, this would probably be the final nail on the coffin. He was never going to forgive me for risking Hania's health. Allah, I wasn't going to forgive myself either. Papa had been right, 'Never, ever punish each other involving Hania'. By doing so, I had unintentionally caused my baby to get sick.

Hania's eyelashes fluttered even while she slept as a teardrop of mine landed on her soft cheek. 

"What have I done?" I wondered out loud.

Arhaan Bhai quickly glanced at me as he drove. "Jazzy, parents aren't angels. Certainly not new, first time parents. We've all done silly stuff. The other day, after returning home from Ismael's hospital appointment, Sadia and I almost forgot him in the car, because we just weren't used to having him around. Because of that, Ammi told me how making mistakes is how we learn stuff. I'm not saying that it's acceptable to be negligent or completely reckless, but some mistakes teach us a lot." 

"But I was negligent, Bhai!" I cried. "I shouldn't have brought her in the coach. Fawad is never going to forgive me and I hate myself."