For Our Love

Twenty Nine

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Originally published: 15th August 2020

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Ahad's POV

I was uncontrollably jealous, I'd always been.

When we were kids, and Arhaan Bhai or Jasmina got something that I thought I liked better, I took it from them. Arhaan Bhai, who'd always been the sensible one, gave up quietly and without a fight. Jasmina, on the other hand, threw serious temper tantrums and ran to Papa immediately, who ended up forcing me to return whatever I took.

Jasmina is the one who caused the most amount of envy inside of me. She got away with everything and anything. If Ammi wanted to step in and say something, Papa defended my sister. 

She hurt Fawad Bhai, and everyone stood by her and supported her in whatever she wanted to do, including Fawad Bhai himself.

And when my marriage broke down, and I blame Jasmina for it, and I ended up with the broken heart, I'm being treated so pitifully that it peed me off to no extent. Initially, I accepted their help, but when I discussed it with my friends, they told me that my own family didn't understand what I was going through, and wanted to send me to a doctor because they didn't want to deal with me themselves. Only Zafar said that our friends were wrong, but I ignored him. He was just another righteous pr**k, even if he was my best friend. I now realise, that I'd been hanging out with bad influences, and if I knew what was best for me, I would drop the rest of them and just stick to Zafar.

I stuffed the advice Bhai and Fawad Bhai had given me and chucked it into a metaphoric bin in my head. I continued as I was, until that fateful night at the club.

When Arhaan Bhai came to stop me, I'd lashed out at him. I was in a state of mind where I constantly felt that nobody understood me, and they all just pitied me. It was then that I started to realise that my family was right and that I really needed help.

And when Fawad Bhai came after me, I think I took my anger for Jasmina out on him. My envy, my rage just came pouring out and I punched him. He didn't fight back, even though I knew that if he wanted it, he was capable of beating the s**t out of me. I knew that he was holding himself back for Bhai and Jazzy's sake.

When I saw him throw up blood, I realised what I'd done. He was one of the nicest, kindest people I'd ever known in my entire life, and he'd never done anything against me. He didn't deserve this.

Bloody hell, even Jasmina doesn't deserve this. I was shaking hard as I stared at my brother-in-law, who was clearly in pain. What the f**k have I done? That's my sister's husband!

As Bhai rushed over to him and the police led me away, I called out weakly, "Bhai, I'm sorry. Let me know if he's okay." 

I don't think Arhaan Bhai heard me, or maybe he was now refusing to acknowledge my existence. I didn't blame him.

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"What the hell, yaar?" Zafar glared at me in the interrogation room.

I had no idea how much time had passed by, but it seemed hours later, or maybe it was just minutes and I felt like it was hours because of the guilt that was devouring me, slowly tearing me apart inside.