LOVE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN

Chapter 24

I didn't realize that I've started to cry until I felt the hot tears run down my face.

My mum's beautiful face was on the screen. She was in her wedding gown smiling as she walked down the aisle to meet my dad who stood at the alter. The pure look of adoration on my dad's face wasn't hard to overlook. He completely loved mum and death took her away from us. Little by little she was dying and we didn't know till it was too late to do anything to save her. I still remember the day she died, I was in shock. It was hard to cope with the reality that I would never see my mum again. That I would never receive her hugs and eat her banana muffins. The day she was buried, I wanted to be buried with her. I couldn't imagine my life without her. I was too young then to really understand how my dad was feeling. The pain which he hid beneath laughter, jokes and smiles. Tears were now flowing freely from my eyes.

"Hey sweetheart, when did you get back?" Dad asked trying to put on a cheerful voice. He didn't realize that I've been standing here for long.

I couldn't control my tears. "Dad you don't have to act so strong every time. I'm your daughter for crying out loud, you don't need to pretend that you are perfectly fine when it's not true," I yelled between sobs.

Dad gestured for me to come and sit beside him. I sat and tucked myself into his side while he wrapped an arm around me. "Isla, you don't have to cry. I miss your mum everyday of my life. I keep imagining what it would have been like if she was still here. How she would decorate the house or how she would force us to go jogging every morning," he chuckled slightly and I managed a small smile. "I try everyday to smile, to keep myself happy, do you know why?" I shook my head. "It's because that's what your mum would have wanted. She wouldn't have wanted us to mourn her for the rest of our lives. She would have wanted us to be happy. But sometimes, things just gets too overwhelming for me and I can't handle it."

"Dad, it's okay to feel that way. You're human afterall. Its not all the time we can keep our emotions in check. It's alright." I said.

"No, it's not alright. I buried myself in my work to get over everything but I guess it's not possible to get over some people," he sighed. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry for always leaving you alone."

I smiled. "No worries dad. I'm already used to it." I joked. "I know you really love me. I love you too. More than anything and my biggest fear would be loosing you."

"I love you baby. So much and don't worry about loosing me. It'll never happen." He said and kissed my forehead.

"So tell me what happened in your room last night?" He asked and wriggled his eyebrows.

"Ewwww dad!" I yelled and covered my face with my hands. He laughed. The way he's laughing now made him look like a high schooler. "I'm just kidding. You guys are going to the dance together right?" I nodded.

"You know," dad started, "your mum was just a little bit older than you when she got pregnant of you. I was so happy and we got married two months after we graduated from highschool. The years we spent together raising you was totally the best years of my life." I smiled and hugged him closer while we watched some video clips of when I was little.

***

I just finished my hair and makeup. My dress lay on my bed with my shoes beside it. Carl would be here to pick me in the next twenty minutes. I pulled off my robe and slid into backless lace white dress with spaghetti straps. After I've tied the strap tightly at my back, I slid into my six inch red platform stiletto heels. I looked at my reflection in my full length mirror. I looked amazingly hot. Sexy even. I felt confident too. I made my way downstairs with five minutes to spare.