Shattered Mind: Ahsoka Tano

Chapter 2

     Anakin and Ahsoka decided to walk instead of taking a taxi. It was a nice breezy night. The city of Coruscant was teeming with life even for the late hours.

"Master, are you sure this is the right way?"

They strolled down a dark narrow street. Trash blew out from one of the open dumpsters. The smell of gas and waste made Ahsoka's nose tingle.

"We might have made a wrong turn back at the last crossing." Anakin scratched his head in embarrassment. "We'll just turn back around. Give me a sec while I comm Rex."

Ahsoka looked around the street, noticing that there were a few people sitting in the shadows.

She made eye contact with one Quarren in particular.

His beady eyes scanned her up and down as he licked his lips. Ahsoka glanced back at Anakin who was still on the call with Rex. She wanted to ask him to hurry up or finish his call somewhere else, but then she thought about how weak she would sound asking him to do so.

"Hello there, sweetheart," a slow croaking voice from behind her said.

Ahsoka turned around and saw that the drunk Quarren was stumbling towards her.

"Why won't you come back with me? I'll make it worth your time," he slurred, reaching out to touch the young Togruta.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on me," Ahsoka hissed.

The way he looked at her made her want to hide.

Ahsoka scolded herself.

I should have worn a cloak.

The Quarren didn't stop though. He kept starting at her with a grin on his face.

"I said stop!" Ahsoka yelled.

Ignoring her comment he reached his hand out again, but this time, it was slapped away by a robotic one.

"You heard her. I suggest you leave if you know what's best for you," Anakin snarled at him with a cold, vicious glare.

The Quarren froze, shrinking back as he stumbled away with a disappointed glint in his eyes. Anakin watched as he disappeared before turning back to his padawan.

"Ahsoka, I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he apologized with guilt written all over his face.

Ahsoka tried to smile; tried to pretend it wasn't a big deal despite feeling like crying.

"It's fine, Master."

Anakin shook his head. "No it's not. I should have been more aware. If I hadn't gotten us lost then this wouldn't have happened."

" Master, really, it's okay." She was lying through her teeth, but for Anakin's sake, she could keep up the façade.

Anakin sighed, still feeling horrible. "This way... it leads to the restaurant quickest." He ushered Ahsoka in front of him for safety, giving anyone who even glanced in her direction the death stare. Once they made it back to the bustling streets with operating lights, he gave her a little space, but he was still on edge about what just happened. After a few more minutes of walking, they finally approached the diner. When they stepped inside, Rex, Fives, and Kix were sitting at a booth in the back.

Ahsoka relaxed once she saw them. It was nice to see familiar faces after the little incident in the ally.

"General, Commander." Rex nodded respectfully sliding down to make room for Ahsoka, while Anakin sat on the other side with Kix and Fives.

When the waiter came over, Ahsoka instinctively inched closer to Rex.

The waiter was a young, male human. Ahsoka knew he probably didn't want anything to do with her, but she was still scared about what could happen. Luckily, Anakin nor the clones, aside from possibly Rex, noticed her small movement.

The service was quicker than any of them expected. The second the food was delivered, Anakin dug in, stuffing his face. If Ahsoka hadn't known him, she would have assumed he hadn't eaten in years.

The young commander eyed all the food. Her stomach was growling. It all looked every appetizing.

No, you can't.

The voice in her head warned her.

"Hungry, Commander?" Fives passed her the plate of deep fried nuna legs.

Her favorite.

Ahsoka smiled kindly, choosing the smallest piece of nuna leg she could find. She stared at it for a brief moment, the internal voice was screaming at her as she brought it to her mouth. With a churning stomach, she bit into the meat. As she chewed, the insecurities attacked her, swarming her mind with every bite.

She couldn't do it.

Ahsoka pushed her plate away. "I'll be right back," she said, excusing herself from the table.

Ahsoka ran to the fresher. She was surprised she made it to the toilet. She heaved up the little remnants of nuna she had been so hesitant to eat. She groaned, lifting her head up, ashamed by what she had just done.

What normal person does this after eating?

"Please be done?" she whimpered, gagging at the foul smell. Ahsoka wiped at her glistening eyes, forcing herself to take a deep breath. Once relatively calmed, she flushed the toilet.

The girl stood up, walking over to the sink. Flicking the faucet on, she washed her mouth out with water, attempting to dispel the terrible aftertaste of acid.

Ahsoka sighed, holding into the edge of the sink in a death grip. Her eyes trailed upward, stopping on the disheveled Togruta staring back at her.

Pathetic, just pathetic.

Ahsoka hastily rushed out of fresher, mainly because Anakin and the others would soon wonder why she was taking so long. Crossing her fingers, Ahsoka found her group, sitting down as if nothing had just happened. Unfortunately for her, Kix immediately noticed.

"Commander, are you feeling alright? All due respect, but you look kinda pale."

Ahsoka plastered on another fake smile.

"Yeah, I'm okay Kix."

In reality she wasn't. In fact, she was trembling both from puking her guts out and from fear of being caught.

Rex looked over her, his brows knitting together. "Kid, are you sure? You're shaking."

Annoyed by the sudden bombardment of concerns, Ahsoka bit back with, "I'm just a little cold."

That seemed to be enough for him. Rex shrugged, resuming his conversation with Fives.

Through rest of dinner she didn't want to look at anything edible. The sight of food made her feel nauseous. Being in a diner definitely didn't help much.

After what felt like another hour, everyone finally parted ways. The clones went back to the barracks and Anakin guided her back to the temple. Before she could scurry back to her small room, Anakin stopped her, his face twisted in a guilty mess.

"Ahsoka, I wanted to apologize again for what happened earlier."

"Master, for the last time it wasn't your fault."

It was mine. I was too weak to stand up for myself.

Anakin smiled softly, offering her a comforting touch of the shoulder. "Goodnight, Snips."

Ahsoka nodded, shutting the door.

The whole scene at the diner and the street played in her mind on repeat.

Worthless

Good for nothing

Weak

Ugly

Fat

Ahsoka tossed and turned in bed trying to get the words out of her head, but they just wouldn't go away.

Instead, she cried silently into her pillow. She let the warm tears roll down her face. Eventually, she ran out of energy, falling into a restless sleep.