Shattered Mind: Ahsoka Tano

Chapter 23

     Ahsoka couldn't sleep. Not after what happened. How could she rest feeling like she was responsible for Five's death. She had stayed up all night regretting everything that played out leading to the unforgettable moment. She sat curled in the corner of her bed thinking. She was scared of what the other clones would say.

" Good going Commander. You got our friend and brother killed." 

They hate you more than ever now. 

She couldn't blame them either. It was her fault.

She was brought out of her trance by a small knock on her door. She froze when she heard who it was.

" Commander, it's me Rex. " he called from the other side of the metal separating them.

He probably wants to blame you for killing Fives. After all you were the reason his best friend is dead.  The voice in her head chanted. 

Ahsoka didn't respond. She wanted to, but something was keeping her from talking back.

" Commander? You in there?" Rex asked. Still she said nothing. She listened for his footsteps as they got fainter. 

" I'm sorry Rex." she whispered. 

Ahsoka felt a pull. She assumed they must be out of hyperspace. She wasn't especially thrilled to interact with people at the moment, but she forced herself to walk to the bridge. Much to her demise Anakin was talking to Rex and Jesse. Anakin spotted her and dismissed Rex and Jesse.

" Hey Snips, where've you been?" Rex had told him that he went to check up on her, but when he got there she didn't appear to be present.

Ahsoka didn't want to tell him that she was to afraid to answer Rex face to face. What would he think of her? She knew he would think that she was a weak child. A child he never wanted anyways. A child he told to do something simple but who still managed to get captured which cost a life of a person dear to a lot of people.

" Oh, I was in the cafeteria." she lied through her teeth. 

Anakin could tell she was obviously lying. He wanted to help her, but he knew her better than that. She wouldn't open up to him until it would be too late and the damage was done. He didn't want to repeat history like what happened last time he tried to help and didn't make it in time.

" When we get back to the temple we're gonna talk." he said in the most gentlest way so not frighten her.

She felt that he was pitying her which just added to her thoughts on how he viewed her, " Yes Master." she replied.

She recalled that he told her that she could tell him anything, however, that was after the voices had disappeared which she hoped would be the last she heard from them. Now that they were back and they were telling her everything that she had done wrong, her flaws, her worth, she couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't bring her problems on Anakin not her brothers ever again. They didn't deserve it. She would relieve them of her. She would go away for a while until she could do something right. Maybe she would see them again, maybe not.