Hyunjin's POV
I woke when I felt the sunlight touched my skin.
I am still here. I spent the night here again with her. Does it need to hurt me like this? Why? When she chose Minho wasn't that enough? She left me for him and now she left again.
Felix calling...
"Felix"
[Where are you? Your Aunt and Uncle were worried]
"I slept with Zatie"
[Hyunjin-]
"Do you want to drink?"
[I can't say no to you. Just go here]
"Aren't you going to attend the class?"
[You need me so I won't]
"Okay" I ended the call and faced her gravestone
Does it have to end like this?
Do you really have to leave like that?
What's the meaning of those smile?
Zatie...
"Baby, it's your 2nd death anniversary. How are you there? I'm sure you are having fun. You can talk to ghosts. Don't forget to always guide your Mom and Dad. I dreamt of you, baby. You kept on saying sorry again. What for?"
It's been 2 years but what happened that night is still fresh on my mind. How she fell on the floor full of blood. How she smiled at me for the last time. How can I forget? How? It hurts like hell.
Those water that rolled down on your cheeks....
Was it the rain?
Or your tears?
There's a lot of question going on my head but nothing was answered. The question from 2 years ago were still unanswered.
"Baby, I'll come back. Take care of me. I love you" I stood up and went to my motorcycle, I started it and drove to Felix's house.
It's been 2 years since our group ended. We all parted ways. We're all in one school but it feels like we don't know each other anymore. They have their own things to do like me...
We all stopped talking to each other like how her heart stopped beating...
Baby, this is so hard.
The circle of friends you only have is now gone...
I can't stop it and let my tears fall even though I'm driving. This is so hard. I can't even fucking move on. It's been 2 years but it feels like it happened yesterday.
I was there when the doctor announced her time of death...
I was there when she closed her eyes...
I was there when she finally left...
Now...
I am still here waiting for her to come back...
I parked the motorcycle and entered the house. I saw Felix sitting on the couch wearing his casual clothes.
"Change" he said and gave me some clothes
I took it and changed in his bathroom. I just did my morning routine, everything. I looked at myself in the mirror, everything changed but my feelings for her remained. How is this possible?
I sighed and went to the living room. I opened two bottles of soju and gave Felix the other one "Thanks"
"No problem. You know even if we're not always talking to each other. If one of you needs me I will always go and take risk. I'm still here" Felix smiled
I drank the soju.
"It's hard, right?" he asked
I nodded "So hard"
"What are your plans? It's been 2 years but you are still locking yourself in the past. If she is here, she won't like it" Felix
"What can I do? I love her. It's still her. I miss her so bad. Her smile, laugh, how she tease me, save me, and annoy me so bad. We both grew up together and I am looking forward to seeing her having her own family even if it's not with me. I promised myself to make her happy when someone is making her sad. I promised to wipe her tears when her eyes were getting teary. I promise to make her feel safe when she's scared. I also..."
Damn it. Tears.
"I-I also p-promised to watch her walk at the aisle with Uncle Chul while Minho is waiting at the end..."
Those promises...
"I'm sure she's so grateful to have person like you in her life. She chose Minho but you still chose to stay. I am so proud of you" Felix said and tapped my shoulder
"How are you?"
"Me? Still stuck. I thought I'm getting better but not. Just like you I can't forget Zatie. I am still hoping for all of us to finally accept everything and forget it" Felix smiled
"How are they?"
"I don't know. No one tried to call me nor text me. None of them tried to look at me nor smile at me. It was a complete mess. They really want to forget about the past even the friendship we all have" Felix
From the eight of us, Felix is the only one who still hopes for all of us to be together again. I admire him for being so strong until now. All of us were affected by her death but Felix is the strongest one.
"Felix-"
"I found the tape when Zatie filmed us playing. If you want to watch it, you should bring them with you. Don't worry I didn't watch it yet. I also want to watch it with you all" Felix
"Do you think they will talk to us? I think it's just you and me who remained friends. They really decided to forget about us"
"Hyunjin" he called
I looked at him.
"This is not what Zatie wants. Do you know what she wants?" Felix
"What?"
He smiled and looked at me "She wants all of us to be stronger than we are before"
