The Journey to Escaping Darkness (Book 1)

Chapter 32

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After we kissed we feel asleep on the couch. He cuddled next to me holding my hands as we feel asleep, well I should say he feel asleep.

I was still thinking about Thomas. I started thinking about the memories that I had gotten back, the death of him, the after effect of his death, the engagement. My heart was full of emotions the whole time.

As Oliver's words sunk in I wasn't too sure how to take them. I believed and trusted Oliver, but I wasn't sure I could say he didn't love me.

He had to, right? We were together a long time. Those letters he wrote about me and his journal. How could he not? It seemed like love, but what I know about my past, I'm not sure I know what love is either, but it seems like I do.

My mind was racing rapidly. I couldn't take it anymore, so I got up without waking Oliver, like it was hard, and went to the wall where I found the letters.

I found another box behind it and opened it. It contained some tapes and some journals sorted in two sections. One side with the tapes and the other with the journals in chronological order.

I grabbed a few and popped them into the tap player by the tv. The screen was black and then popped up... the dead man?

I tilted my head to the side and scrunched my eyebrows together.

He stood there in front of a door. His hair was all over the place and he looked exhausted.

"I'm not completely sure what to do anymore." He started talking with a defeated tone. "Raven is going through one of her depressing weeks again, and I'm not sure what else to do anymore. She sits in her room somedays crying her eyes out and other days she can be powerful, strong headed women. I wish I knew how to help her. But I guess I'm going to have to realize that she's going to have to deal with this on her own. I'm just worried she's never going to get over it." He spoke with such love in his voice it was confusing.

The screen went black and popped up another video of him wearing a black T-shirt against the same door way.

"Today, I'm mostly worried about London. She seems so consumed with Raven and trying to help her, she never takes care of her self. They are dependent on each other." I paused it thinking about what he just said.

My head then started to feel like it was going to explode. I was depressing the feeling, trying to undermine it. But since it didn't work I just let the feeling take over.

"Raven, please just listen to me!" London shouted with tears in her eyes as tried to reason with me.

"What? You don't understand, London! He was my entire world and now he's gone!" I yelled from across the room.

We were in the dinning room, just the two of us as this fight or whatever you want to call it broke out.

"He's been gone! I know you loved him. Trust me I do, but you need to let go. A love like this will always be with you, but don't turn it into something bad." her voice got softer as she gave her speech.

"How can it not be bad? I lost one of the only people who gave me stability." I asked her still yelling not understanding.

"Let yourself have peace. Don't hold yourself back." She stayed calm and gentle as she spoke.

"You say it like it's easy." I responded with my voice suddenly calm.

"I know it's not. I've seen you try before.I know though that when the time comes, when your ready, you'll let yourself be happy." She finished walking out the door, but stopped when I started talking again.

"This all I know, London. There's a good chance I might not ever let myself be happy." I told her with my face cold and emotionless.

A tear fell down her face and she walked off with her head held high.

In my mind I knew the truth, she might as well face it too, but in reality she knew it, she just had hope, I didn't. She was what helped me be strong, her and Dermot.

She was hopeful, something I never was. I admired her for that. We were different, but our personalities complimented each other.

Her happiness kept me from always been a stick in the mud. My logic kept her from going to far. Her hope kept me going. My strength helped her hold on.

She was something different than Dermot. We had a totally different connection.

Dermot just gave me an extra boost of what I already had. London gave me something I never could get on my own.

London and I had a mutual respect. We both knew that for the rest of our lives we'd be best friends, but not exactly. We could reach a connection night than sisters, almost like a spiritual level. We would be together 'til the end of time. She was something I needed, she'd be something I'd always need.

I thought about that I was crying sitting in the dining room chair. I thought about Raven and told myself not to give up. We needed each other. 'As long as I have her, I'll be fine' I told myself.

I looked around the room as I returned to reality. Oliver was still asleep and my mind was racing thinking about the memory that had just come forth.

I sat there and let the feeling take over. I let the massive feeling that I had been feeling since I had woken up take over. It took over my whole body.

I started breathing heavy. I closed my eyes and relaxed myself siting down on the floor. I took a deep breath in and let the feeling take full control.

My memories started flood my mind in order. From the first day my dad left all the way until the attack.

After about a few minutes, it was all over. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, but new baggage came, the suffocating pain.

My heart was cold and felt shattered. My eyes began to water up and I started crying. I felt the realization of the state I was in. I wasn't heathy. I was majorly depressed. I was lost, confused, and I could barely breath.

I looked up in front of me and I saw the dead man. I began to cry even harder, but silently.

He bent down in front of me and I asked, "What do I do now?" It was softly and nearly audible.

He put his hand on my chin and looked me in the eye and with hard eyes responded, "You fight like hell, like you always do. You are stronger than you think."

I looked at him thinking what he said was such a cliché. "That's all I've ever done, and I'm getting tired." I told him.

He turned his head and puffed his cigarette. He looked back at me and said, "Just remember who's at stake in this situation." After staying that he disappeared.

I was alone in a cold empty house with a guy who loved me. I wasn't sure what my next move would be, but I knew damn well I wasn't going to give up so easily. I mean I'm only a thousand years old, at this point, I'm invincible.

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A bit happened in this chapter! Not to mention it was an early chapter... I hope you guys liked it! Please vote and comment!

-Love you guys❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️