Double Vision ~Marauders Era~

Chapter 10 - Accidents

I knew I was weak. I could feel the weakness in my eyes. I should have stayed in bed that morning. It had already been two days after the fight, thought, and I couldn't ignore them any longer. I was hungry and restless. I thought it would be okay.

I looked around, blinking rapidly. My eyes...it was hard to describe the feeling. You can't usually feel your eyes, but I could on bad days. Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes I was just painfully aware of their presence. Today, I had both feelings. Everything was so confusing, so complicated. Left or right? Up or down? Who knew?

I knew it was a bad idea, but I had this urge to fly. I wanted to take a moment to be careless. To drift in the wind. Just a moment. That's all I wanted before I ate. It was all I needed.

I stumbled down two flights of stairs, breathing heavily. I barely manged to stay upright. I really shouldn't fly right now. No, I really shouldn't be doing this. But here I am. Doing it anyways.

I kicked off from the ground hard, speeding away. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to feel. That is, I didn't want to feel anything emotionally. I just wanted an escape. I was a good flier. I was experienced. I have done it for years. But I could feel it. Something was different. I couldn't figure out where I was going. Everything was spinning. And just when it was too late, I understood.

I saw the branch just as it hit me. I felt the hardness slam into my stomach. Then, a second, smaller branch slammed into my head. I went too far. Got too close. I could vaguely hear myself screaming. Whether it was in pain or fear, I wasn't sure. I could only pray I landed out of the trees range. Please, let me escape.

I was off of my broom immediately. My body was sinking fast. I could feel the knot in my stomach, and I could feel myself going into shock. I screamed again, louder than before. Please, someone. Help. Help me. I was foolish. So so foolish.

I slammed into the ground with no mercy. I heard a cracking noise, and I screamed once the feeling registered in my head. My leg was bent at an odd angle, the fingers on my left hand facing the wrong way. Before I fully accepted this fact, I felt the blood dripping down my head. I knew it was bad. I couldn't move, though, and before I knew it, I blacked out.

I woke up in a soft bed, bright lights blinding me. I groaned, blinking rapidly. I could barely feel my body. Oh man, I hoped they nummed me. I didn't want to feel the aftermath of that crash.

To the left sat Severus, his eyes closed and his head low. Remus sat to my right, his head leaned against the wall. He was awake, though. I tried to form a word, but I couldn't manage anything other than a strangled 'ruh' noise. His head instantly snapped towards me, his eyes wide. He laughed in relief, grabbing my hand with both of his.

"Azalea," he whispered, leaning down and kissing my hand. I blushed, confused. So he wasn't mad at me?

"I'm so glad you're okay. They said...you were flying? I didn't...I didn't know you flew. Severus found you. I hate to admit that, but he did. I'm glad he did, though, don't get me wrong. They might not have gotten to you in time. You lost a lot of blood and broke a lot of bones. I'm sure you will be sore later on. They are doing their best here, but healing takes time."

I could barely nod my head, my mouth opening to speak. I managed out a weak "oh". I wasn't sure what else to say. Yes I was flying? Yes, I have hobbies? Severus knew about it? No, that was cruel.

"Why...why did you hit the tree? They said...they said people saw from the windows. You just flew straight into it. Where you trying to do it? Why would you want to hurt yourself like that? Have we upset you that much?" He seemed so sad, so confused. If only he knew.

I sighed, debating on what to say. Should I finally tell him? I was so scared, but I knew Remus. I trusted
Remus. And he trusted me. So maybe it was time?

"I-I didn't," I croaked, "My eyes. Just...my eyes."

"Your...eyes," he repeated.

"Yes. I...I...just, enter my mind. I won't stop you."

At that moment, I heard a rustling from beside me. Severus had woken, and I could see the fury on his face. Was he mad at me? Remus? Or both of us?

"You are going to tell him? And of course, you don't even know about him and his secrets!"

"She will," Remus hissed back.

"Boys," I whispered, "Please. Talking is hard. Sev...let me show him. He doesn't...understand. Both of you. Watch."

I waited silently, allowing them to process. Eventually, they both sighed. They each held one of my hands, and I felt as they simultaneously entered my mind. It felt different than when Severus and I did it. It felt more...invasive.

I replayed my crash scene, second by second. They saw through my eyes. They saw how the tree slammed my body repeatedly, how I fell screaming to the ground. They saw my double vision mess with my mind until I couldn't see anymore. It was painful to experience for a second time. I knew they would feel just as awful.

"What...what is that? That is..how you see? All the time? Godric, Azalea. Why didn't you ever tell me? I could've helped you! I could've-"

"You would never be able to help her," Severus hissed, "She can't be helped. It's not curable. No one can help her now. As badly as we may want to."

"Oh. Oh, I see. Well. I will leave now, Azalea. Let you get your rest. I will be back tomorrow. Please, get some rest," Remus whispered, kissing my forehead. He lingered there for a moment, and then made a decision. He bent down, touching his lips to mine. It was quick and painless, but he knew what he was doing.

"I can't believe-" but it was too late. Remus was already out of the door.

"Do you feel okay," Severus finally asked after a long silence, "When I found you, I thought you were already dead. I panicked. I don't know how long you had been there. People noticed from the windows, but no one came to find you. They were all too shocked. Some got professors, but even then...well, anyways. I carried you up here. They said you would be okay, but..."

"I'm okay," I murmured.

"That was foolish of you," he finally said, "I thought...I thought you-"

"But I wasn't."

"No, I suppose not."

We sat comfortably in the silence for a while after that. I was fine to hold his hand and relax. My mind was at ease. I knew Remus was upset, but I couldn't bring myself to get upset about it. I was happy he kissed me, at least. Not happy Severus saw, but happy all the same.

"I was thinking," he broke the silent air, "Do you have anywhere to go over Christmas break?"

"No, I refuse to go home. I won't be there unless I have to. After what happened to dad...after what I did..."

"You did," he questioned.

"It doesn't matter now."

"Well, anyways. My parents always leave at Christmas. I usually stay here because, well, what's the point? So, I was thinking we could go home together? To my home, I mean? I, um, know that's a bit strange to ask, but I don't think it's good for either of us to be here at the moment."

"Oh," I breathed. He wanted me to go to his house? That was a bold question.

"Yes," I breathed out, not thinking, "Yes, of course. I would love to."

"Okay. Okay, good."

And silence fell again.