Double Vision ~Marauders Era~

Chapter 24 - Dumbledore's Orders

*Enjoy my baby beardie taking a ride to Hogwarts! Also, I added a cast list at the beginning under Cast And Notes!*

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Time was flying by too fast. It had already been two weeks since Severus told me about his problem. Two weeks closer to having a child in my life. I wasn't sure what to do. It was hard for me to focus, hard for me to do well. I struggled in class, my mind constantly wandering. I'm sure my professors have noticed. They just don't want to approach me.

Severus was constantly reassuring me. He helped me get through each day, and I tried to return the favor. I would hold him when he cried, anxiety and fear shuddering through his body. I had never seen him like that before, and it was odd to think he even had that side to him. I didn't mind, though. We all made mistakes. I was just glad I could help him through his.

It took him the full two weeks to build up the courage to talk to Dumbledore. He didn't want to admit what he had done. He didn't want to tell another soul. But he had to. He knew what would happen if he didn't, and it just wasn't a risk he could take. He refused to let me go with him. He said he didn't want to embarass himself further.

When he came back three hours later, I could see his facade falling apart. He cried into my shoulder for a long time, weeping in sorrow. I held him close to me, unable to keep my own eyes dry. I tried to seem strong, but it was so hard seeing him like that. Severus was strong and stubborn, cocky and infuriating. But it was all a lie underneath. I could see that now.

"What did he say," I finally asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"He wants me to do the impossible," he whispered back, shaking his head aggressively. When he sat up, I could see the panic in his eyes. His hair stuck to his wet face, his eyes red and puffy.

I smiled sadly at him, running my fingers across his cheeks. I stood and grabbed my brush and a hair tie, coming to stand behind him. I brushed through his hair gently, pulling loose strands away from his face. He didn't grimace when I hit the knots, or yell out in pain. He sat there numbly, not saying a word. I silently pulled the hair back, leaving him with a short ponytail. A few strands fell back out, but I was sure it was much better than before. I returned my brush before sitting down once more.

"What does he want you to do," I grabbed his hand. He shook his head again, letting it drop down to his chest.

"He wants me to stay."

"What," I cried, "How could he say that? Did he not want to help you?"

"He does. That's the problem. The only way to keep me safe, to keep you safe..."

"Is to stay," I whispered in horror.

"That's not all," he turned away. I could feel the tension in the air.

"What more could he ask of you," I demanded.

"He wants me to infiltrate them."

"What," I screamed, flabbergasted.

"Zales, don't get mad-"

"Don't get mad? Don't get mad? I am beyond that point, Sev! I am furious! How could he ask you to do that? You aren't even 17 years old yet! Not an adult! He is insane! You are a child! That is too much to ask of you!"

"Are we really children, though," he asked calmly. I paused. He was right, of course. It seemed like we were all being forced into adult roles at the moment. An upcoming war did that to people.

"I guess not," I admitted.

"He wants me to get insider information. He thinks I would make a good spy. And I'm sure he is right. He did train me, after all. Trained us. As long as I can keep my mind blocked, I will be okay. I have to start controlling my emotions. All day every day. I have to be extremely careful now, Azalea. The Dark Lord can't know that I'm a mole. He can't. That would be a worse fate than the one I'm heading for now."

"We will practice. Every day, Sev. Every single day. I will do it, too. We will do this together. And then...and then, we can confide in one another. We can only let our guards down together. I don't want to lose this part of you, okay? This is a very important part. You need to express yourself every once in a while. Or you might blend in a little too well." He nodded in agreement, turning away again.

I leaped forwards, wrapping my arms around his neck. He jumped back, startled. But I felt his hands slide to my back, pulling me into his lap. I took his face into my hands and kissed him, a salty tear slipping down my face. He pulled away after a few seconds, gently wiping the tear away.

"You're so good to me, Azalea," he whispered quietly, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"I don't know," I laughed, "So far, it seems like you kind of suck."

"I don't know what you mean," he muttered, a hand over his heart.

"Well, let's see....first, you would kiss and run. Then you gave up on me entirely. Then you ran off and became a death eater. What else, what else?" He laughed, pulling me closer. He slipped his fingers in the hem of my skirt, touching bare skin. I shivered when I felt his cold fingers.

"I think that's enough for now," he growled playfully.

"Okay, okay," I giggled. We fell into silence, staring at each other. I could practically see the emotions stirring in his head, the pain and torture he was going through.

"I don't want to think about any of this right now," he admitted, glancing at me with dark eyes.

"Okay. What do you suggest we do to distract you," I squirmed in his lap, trying not to laugh. I was awful at this.

"Oh, I've got plenty of ideas," he nipped my ear, pushing me to the bed. I laughed as I fell, wrapping my legs around his waist. I was happy to distract him any day.