Double Vision ~Marauders Era~

Chapter 20 - Homesick

It didn't take long for me to become homesick. Homesick for my real home, that is. I felt safe at Hogwarts. I knew I could get away when I needed to, but also that nothing would ever harm me while I was there. Here, I couldn't feel that way. I felt disconnected, but it was the only way to survive in a place like this.

I avoided my mother in any situation I could. I tip toed around her, avoiding the taunts and tantrums that would have came my way otherwise. I would hear her grumble about missing food, missing toiletries, and missing clothes. She was so out of it that she didn't remember me being home. I let her gripe and complain. That was the easiest way.

I had already been home two weeks when she finally realized. The loud bang on my door woke me up. I jumped, letting a small 'Godric' escape under my breath. I sighed, standing slowly. I took hesitant steps to the door. I stood outside of it unsurely, not wanting to give her access to my safe place. But I did it anyways.

She looked awful. Her black waves were stiff as a board, dark bags under her grey eyes. There was no life in her eyes. They didn't shine with joy, relief, nothing. She seemed dead. Her skin was pale and bruised, the veins poking out beneath the skin. She was so small, her bones completely visible. It was obvious she hadn't taken good care of herself. And when she opened her mouth, the smell made me gag.

"Azalea," she snarled, eyeing me up and down. I flinched at her tone, looking back down to my feet.

"Yes," I whispered.

"I'm glad you finally came home. I have news for you."

"News?"

"I'm pregnant," she muttered grumpily.

"When are you due," I asked in a panic.

"December 15," she smiled, "December, just like you."

"Who is the father?"

"No idea," she laughed, "Some bloke I met at the bar. Just found out a few days ago. But that's why I have you. You will take care of it, won't you darling? I know you would be such a good mother. I know you are young, but you know I had you at 15. We will just play it off like it's yours. It will never know! Isn't that fantastic?"

"What," I screeched, gaping at her in complete shock. She wanted me to do what?

"It's not that hard being a single mother," she scoffed.

"Then why don't you do it," I screeched, "I haven't even finished school yet!"

"Figure something out," she snapped back.

"No! No, I won't! I have a life too, you know! And how am I supposed to pass off a baby as mine when I'm a virgin?"

"Please. I know plenty of men who would have a go at you. That won't be an issue." I stepped back in shock, shaking my head. She didn't mean that, did she?

"You're crazy," I whispered, my heart tightening.

"If you don't do this, I will kill the baby as soon as it's born. I will leave it in the fields where the animals can have it. You don't want that, do you?"

I let a tear fall down my face, intaking a sharp breath. She knew my weaknesses. I am a helper. I am a giver. I struggle to say no. And I don't take threats lightly, even if the threatener doesn't mean it. I won't take that chance, and she knows I won't. She knows I would never sacrifice a child.

"Okay," I wiped my face, "Okay. I will figure something out. I will. I will be back the first of December. But until then, start taking care of yourself, okay? Stop drinking, stop doing drugs. I need you to take care of yourself, eat properly. Or I won't do it."

"Fine," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. She turned, slamming the door shut behind her. When her footsteps had faded completely, I twisted the lock. I fell to the floor, my head in my hands. I cried for what seemed like hours, unable to bring myself back to reality. By the time I finally came back to earth, it was dark.

I felt so conflicted. In my heart, I knew what was right. I had to take this baby from her. I didn't want a child growing up to be as traumatized as me. After what happened to my younger brother, I couldn't relieve that again. But I also knew I wasn't capable of handing a baby. I was 17! How was I supposed to take care of a child who wasn't even biologically mine? And yet, it still shared my DNA.

"I need Severus," I whispered under my breath, breathing heavily. I could feel myself hyperventilating, and I didn't want to start the panic all over again. So, instead, I decided to write him a letter. He had not contacted me the past two weeks, and I wasn't going to write him first. But now, I had no choice. I needed him.

For Severus' eyes only I wrote on the back.

Sev,

I just don't know what to do. I wasn't going to send you a letter. I felt as if you didn't want to talk to me, and I thought you would need time. I felt so betrayed, and I was bitter. So I thought the best thing was to ignore you. But I can't any longer. I need your correspondence.

I have become aware of the fact that my mother is pregnant. And I should be happy to have a sibling. But I can't be. My mother has informed me that I will be responsible for this child. The baby is due December 15. I was told that once this day came, I would officially be the mother. If I do not take responsibility for the child, she will kill it the moment it is born. And I just can't let that happen.

I feel torn, and I hate myself for that. I know I must save this child, but I also know that my life is getting turned upside down. And I'm not sure I can handle the child. She wants me to quit school. She wants me to sleep with random men at the bar so I am no longer a virgin. So it is believable that I could have a child. I'm terrified she will take that situation into her own hands.

I don't need you to come rescue me. I don't want a knight in shining armor. I want a friend. So please respond. I just want to talk. I need someone to lean on right now. And I have no one else.

I love you,

Azalea Ross

I cried as I wrote, tears dripping onto the parchment. I sniffled when I was done, folding it delicately. I whistled loudly, waiting for the neighborhood owl to come flying in. It didn't take her long, her midnight black feathers glistening in the sun as she flew through the window.

"Hello, Ember," I greeted, "I need this to go to my good friend, Severus Snape." I gave her the address just in case, letting her take a piece of bread off my old plate. She took it gratefully, accepting my payment. I watched as she flew away, fear in my heart. I could only pray he replied.