Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"You sure you straight?" Dior looked at me as we both sat on my bathroom floor.
I had the worst headache when we got here and I threw up twice.
I will never drive the boat again! Im letting that bitch sink next time.
"Yeah mane I'm good." I nodded as the Tylenol started to die the headache down.
"Ight imma call you later." She stood up and I nodded staying seated.
Hearing the front door close I looked at the floor feeling tears stream down my face.
Bringing my knees to my head I started fully crying, it was like all the emotions I wasn't feeling was hitting me at once, right now at that.
I started to feel like the worst person ever, like I was a burden and had no purpose in being here.
My mind went to a bunch of different places but when it went to dula my heart started to ache, I caused him unnecessary pain because of my selfishness.
I didn't wanna accept the fact that I was going through postpartum so I made him feel like I was falling out of love.
That wasn't the case at all I just couldn't feel no empathy towards anybody so I blamed it as me falling out of love.
Sniffing I wiped my face standing up and turned the shower on.
Sitting in the tub fully clothed I sat there crying as the water ran on my head.
I really don't wanna be here nomore.
_________
POV:|Logan Jackson Mathew~Dula|
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"You seen them half naked pictures NuNu posted on Instagram?" Manny asked as I strapped Reign in her car seat.
"Yeah I reported them 9 times instagram better take them shits down." I shrugged putting my jacket on and he busted out laughing.
"You ain't shit." He shook his head dapping me up and I chuckled before making my way out the door.
Going to my car I strapped Reign in the backseat and got in the drivers seat.
"You ready to go back with your cold hearted ass momma?" I looked in the backseat looking at her as she made random ass noises.
"Imma take that as a yes." I nodded pulling off heading to NuNu apartment.
Every since our talk we decided to go our separate ways and coparent.
We can't force something that's not there.
After the quick 10 minute drive to the house I parked and got out grabbing reign car seat.
Making my way into the apartment I heard the shower running.
Deciding to stay until NuNu was done showering I sat the car seat on the table and unstrapped Reign.
Bouncing her on my lap as we waited I started to grow impatient cause I was suppose to be getting my hair cut today.
Walking in reign room I laid her in the bed and gave her the monkey toy she always playing with.
After making sure she was straight I walked out the room going to the bathroom.
"Mane NuNu a shower don't take that fucki—say." I ran to the tub seeing her laid out with a long cut on her arm.
"Peanut." I pulled her out of the tub and sat on the floor with her in my lap.
"Stop playing bae." I sniffed kissing all around her face as my vision got more and more blurry.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket I called the ambulance.
"Peanut please don't leave me mane, what am I suppose to do without you?" I shook her only to get no response.
Looking at the blood that was still leaking from her arms I held my head down.
"I'm sorry peanut it was my fault." I cried hugging her as tight as I could.
"I should have been there for you." I sniffed moving her hair from out of her face.
Hearing the sirens approach I kissed all over her face wishing for this nightmare to be over already.
__________ 2 weeks later.
Crying out loud I hugged NuNu casket before they lowered it down.
"Come on bro, I got you." Manny pulled me away so they could let the casket down.
"She gone mane, this ain't how it's suppose to be she wasn't suppose to leave mane." I cried in Manny arms as he hugged me.
"I know son it's crazy, but she was hurting in silence without letting anybody know."
"I should have known mane, I shouldn't have left I should have stayed with her it's my fault." I cried wanting to spazz so bad.
"Don't blame yourself, you did all you could do mane." He sniffed and I shook my head.
"You don't get, that's my baby mane, my motivation to be a better person, she really gone her and my seed that was growing inside of her." I shook my head walking away from the grave sight.
It was making me sick to my stomach.
Getting in my car ignoring everybody around me I drove to the apartment.
Getting out the car I unloosened the tie I had on and walked through the door instantly tearing up.
Going in the bathroom I sat in the spot where I held her.
"I'm so sorry peanut, I shouldn't have left." I shook my head pulling at my hair.
"Do it." The shadow smirked standing in front of me.
Standing up from the floor I went into chole room that had nothing but boxes around because we were moving soon.
Grabbing her book bag from out the box I dug into it grabbing the pencil sharpener.
Walking back in the bathroom I sat the pencil sharpener on the ground before stomping on it retrieving the razor that was in it.
Sitting back on the floor I looked at the tub making the sight of her laying there lifeless come to mind.
"Go be with her." The shadow smiled and I nodded taking the razor and cutting deeply into my arm.
