Changed for the better (Gonkillu)

-CHAPTER 26-

As the party was still going on, I kept trying to awkwardly get that Hisoka guy away from me. I'd try to go to the bathroom, he'd be waiting right outside the door. I'd leave to go get something to drink, he'd be right behind me waiting.

It's like he wanted the perfect moment to do something weird. Every time I thought I lost him in the crowd, he would appear out of no where and start smiling weirdly.

At that point, I became really defensive and decided to show him it's really pissing me off.

"Hey. Why do you keep following me? Don't you have somewhere else to go?"
I said grabbing him by his collar and glaring. He didn't flinch or show any reaction. He just kept that weird smile on his face.

"don't get so aggressive~" he said as he put his hands up in a calming motion. There was not much reason for me to be aggressive, but the look he kept putting on his face pissed me off more then ever.

"Just quit following me."

As I walked away he placed his hands in his pockets and did a weird shrugging motion. What was wrong with that weirdo? I came to this party to get my mind off of killua...not get chased around this place by a guy with make up on his face.

The more I walked, the more the music start to calm down. It's because I was getting further away from the crowd and more into a quite place. There were some people leaning against the walls and taking sips of alcohol, but it was still quite. Guess I finally find somewhere to hang around.

I slid down on a close by wall and leaned my head back against it. Killua...why did he get mad at me again? What went wrong..? Does he actually kill people like the rumors say..? I wish he was here drunk with me right now..

I just miss him. What changed? Me...or him? maybe it was me, I got in his business and got him in trouble. He disappeared because of me, he became vulnerable in front of me. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to speak to me anymore. Who would want to speak to me anyways...

He was different...he didn't talk to me because I was popular. Not because he was alone, but because I was the first to come up on him. I regret hurting him.

Killua. Just let me apologize over and over again to you.. all I want to do is apologize. And then we can never speak again if that's what you want. Maybe parting ways would be for the better between us.

The tears we're threatening to make their way threw my eyes, and I didn't let them. I'd be weak if I did that. Especially over someone who wants nothing to do with me.

Weak....I never knew how frustrating weakness could be.

Damn it. I said I wouldn't think about you killua, but once again. My mind just goes everywhere to you.

I stayed on the floor hitting my head soft and slowly on the wall, trying to get thoughts to go anywhere but to Killua. And then someone called my name, which made me snap out of my thoughts.

"Ew. You look like a drunk person who just broke up with their girlfriend. What's wrong with you?" List remarked as he nudged me with a broom he had placed in his hand.

"List? what are you doing here? I didn't know you were the party type?"

"That's because I'm not. If you couldn't already tell I'm only here to clean In this disgusting place. They paid me 300 to do it." He replied, groaning tiredly and rubbing his back with his free hand.

"Woahh? 300?! That's a lot just to clean up a house." I grinned while getting up and wiping the dust of my pants.

"Actually, I wish I had gotten more. You must not have been everywhere around this house. It's huge as fuck! I was scammed!" List cried out dramatically.

I just chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Well, I don't really have anything to do. And I'm trying to get my mind off things anyways...so you want some help?"

List smiled widely and shoved the broom into my chest. "Oh Gon your the greatest friend ever, and a life saver. If I had of swept a bit more, I would have collapsed! I owe you for this."

"Your not splitting the money?"

List stayed silent and laughed "no way. I need that money. something else I'll owe you. Anyways I'll do upstairs, see you later. Thanks again." He waved goodbye, slowly disappearing into the crowd.

"I'm kinda regretting this now...I'd rather go back to sitting down the whole night." Giving a loud sigh, I make my way out of the quite place and back into the crowd.

Hopefully my mind won't think about killua. Cause I know he's not thinking about me.