From 6ft Under | Hajeongwoo

[XXIII] Lingering Doubts

Park Jeongwoo

I stared at Haruto who's struggling to spread the picnic blanket on the sand. When we made an excuse to leave Atty. Yedam and Doyoung behind, I suggested we move to a different place not too far from the hotel and have our own peaceful time together. We went back to the hotel to borrow some stuff while Haruto brought canned beverages.

When he's finally done, he looks up at me and cutely pats the vacant space next to him. "Come here, it's cold." he said and I quickly put the chips down, snuggling close to him.

Haruto buried his nose on my crown and wrap his arms around me, tight but not in a suffocating way. Just enough to keep me warm. We stayed in that position without talking, just looking at the sea and sometimes at the starless dark sky.

"Jeongwoo?" he calls out using his softest voice.

I let out a low hum and look up to get a glimpse of his face. His smile grew wider and the look on his face became more vibrant when our eyes met. And in his most sincere voice, he mumbled, "You know that I love you so much, right?"

"Why are you asking that? Of course, I know, and I love you more." I replied and pinch his nose playfully.

This time, I hug his body even tighter and I can't even explain why his confession sends me a different feeling. Haruto slowly nod and leaned down to trail a small peck on my forehead as he showered me with sweet words. Somehow, his love makes me scared.

I took his hands on mine and played with it, earning a soft chuckle from him. "Do you have any plans after this short vacation?" he asked whispering into my ears that tickle my whole system.

"I'm not sure. What about you?"

He releases a deep breath. "I need to go somewhere. Would that be fine?" Haruto anxiously plays with my hand, trying his best to avoid eye contact.

As much as I want to keep him close I know I don't really have the right to stop him. And the most important thing is— I still have a mission to complete. Just the thought of ending the mission and going back to our own worlds makes my heart pound heavily. Scared would be a complete understatement. What if history repeats itself?

"Of course, I have things to do as well. Take your time. We'll keep in touch right?" I replied smiling to ease his anxiousness.

I saw his eyes flutter in hesitation and his grip on my hand tighten protectively. Haruto finally looks up and used his fingertip to lift my chin so our eyes meet each other. "Do you trust me?"

I trust you but....

It's not trust if it holds a little doubt deep inside and I wanted to tell him that. I wanted to let him know that I trust him but I'm scared. I trust him but I feel restless. I trust him but I'm a little anxious. I trust him but I am afraid.

"I trust you with all my heart, Haru."

A small smile curve on his lips before he gently pulled me to his lap, pressing our bodies closer. "I don't think i can contact you while I'm away." he confessed and I swear I'd push him away if it's not for his lips brushing against my cheeks.

"I....t..that's completely fine."

Lie. Liar.

All my worries and thoughts completely drifted away when I realized that his face is only an inch away from mine. Haruto took his time staring at my face and caressing my cheeks as if he's waiting for a sign of rejection but I want him just the same so I leaned in to close the tiny gap between us. This is what I love about him, Haruto might have been a little secretive and tend to put limits on the words he used to say but his touch never fails to do the rest. The kiss was slow as well as his hands hesitantly roaming around my body.