Ever growing 2

Chapter 2 Ryan's POV

A week later

Getting to my gate to board that plane was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Ella tried to act strong but I could tell she would cry as soon as I'd be gone. I feel tears forming in my eyes thinking about her beautiful face. My sunglasses and headphones are acting as a barrier to the outside world. The news still hasn't fully sunk in. "I will be a father." Every time I've looked at her since then, I've pictured her with a big belly. A smile appears on my lips thinking about it.

I went to one of her sessions last week to make sure things stay strong between us. I didn't want her to think she had to do all the work. We're a couple and we'll navigate all of it as a team. I secretly wanted to talk about it too, I've always wanted children, I just never expected to have one right now. Not that I doubt my feelings for Ella or my ability to be a dad. I've been busy with work, traveling a lot. I figured we would find a house and start thinking about raising children in a year or two. I need to think about where I'm going now knowing sacrifices will be needed if I want this to work. I already feel guilty leaving Ella for a few weeks. Not only am I going to miss her but I'll miss her next doctor's appointment. I pull up my phone to scroll through her pictures. She's so beautiful! Tears are burning my eyes again, blurring my vision. Closing them I try to focus on the music that's playing in my ears.

The drive from the airport to my hotel was boring. As soon as I walked into my room, I felt lonely again. It's not my first time away from her but it's my first time away from our baby. The sadness I usually feel being away from my love seems ten times worse right now. I'm hoping she understands how torn I am having to be here without her. I wish I could hop on a plane home right away. Opening the mini-fridge, I grab a beer.

After going over my lines a few times, talking to the director and other cast members, I call Ella.

"Hey, babe," I say in a half-whisper.

"Hey! Are you okay? You sound sad."

"I miss you!" I take another sip of my beer.

"I miss you more! Are you drunk?" she asks me.

"I'm on my third one, I wouldn't say I'm drunk. I just needed a distraction."

"Oh, okay." she sounds worried.

"I'm sorry, baby. It's been hard not having you with me."

"I wish I was with you!"

We ended up talking about my new project, my new co-stars. She told me about her day, how nice it is to spend time with her friends. After a while, she started yawning saying she was tired. Selfishly, I was hoping she would stay on the phone with me. I don't know why I'm so needy right now but I just wanted to have her with me a little longer.

I guess I should be reasonable and go to bed. We have rehearsals starting at 7 AM tomorrow. Ella doesn't know that I stole one of her shirts, even added her perfume so I could hold onto it. After tossing and turning for a while, I grip it tightly, finally falling asleep. A stunning Ella with a belly is featured in my dream. The dream turns to a nightmare when I keep having to do reshoots, being away from her for months. She keeps begging me to come home, crying on the phone. She ends up delivering a beautiful baby girl, all alone. I wake up covered in sweats. Reaching for her shirt, I pull it to me again. 6 AM came way too soon.