Ever growing 2

Chapter 55

1 week later

I agreed to have therapy with Ryan. Today is our first appointment together with a new therapist, we figured we wanted to keep each therapy separate. He also has his sponsor he talks to regularly.

A man named Scott introduces himself to us as we sit down on a couch in front of him. He doesn't waste time asking questions about why we feel the need to have therapy. Ryan and I exchange a look unsure of where to start. Scott asks if we have relationship issues we want to talk about.

"I don't think us is the issue, we've been through a rough patch in the past few months but for us as a couple; we're doing well," Ryan says.

"Do you agree?" Scott looks at me.

"I do."

Ryan tells him about Jake. I start from the beginning by explaining that I hired him without knowing about his obsessive behavior. I go over a series of events that happened to show how his antics progressed. Ryan's hand has been resting on my shoulder since we got here but his fingers are now digging into it when I give details on things Jake has said and done. One particular event where Jake asked me if I "swallow" or not when I perform oral sex bothers Ryan, I can tell by the change in his breathing and I see his jaw is clenched.

We only get to talk about Ryan warning him to leave me alone before our session comes to an end. A tense Ryan drives us home without saying one word until we step inside the apartment.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me those things?" He turns to me looking furious.

"I... umm... don't know" I stumble on my words.

"Were you ever going to tell me? What the fuck, Ella?" He allows me to step further into the apartment and sit on the couch after removing my jacket and shoes.

"I'm sorry! Why are you so mad? You didn't tell me about Isabelle when it first happened!" I now yell at him too.

"Someone was hitting on you and you didn't fucking think I would want to know everything they did and said? The thing with Isabelle is totally different." He paces in front of me.

"Different? Didn't she touch your penis? Doesn't it involve sex as well?" I shout.

"Yes but it's still different. How can I protect you if you're hiding it from me?" His face is red, his eyes dark.

"I didn't think of it that way...I...You knew he liked me, I didn't think telling every detail would..." I whisper.

"Well, you should have, I could have protected you," He spits out.

I sit there frozen. "Is he blaming me for what happened?" My brain is going into panic mode, I feel my throat tightening. I stand up aiming for the door unable to think clearly. His arms wrap around my waist lifting me and sitting with me on his lap. I squirm in his touch telling him to let me go but he's too strong and his arms are now holding mine tightly. I also know that he's used to the way my brain works now. I haven't tried to run away in a while but I still slip sometimes. I stop fighting although I'm still upset by what he just said.

"Are you better now?" He asks.

"No! You're fucking blaming me, I didn't ask for him to...to...," I feel nauseated, I motion that I will be sick and he releases me. I get to the toilet just in time to violently throw up thinking about everything that happened that night. Ryan followed me and he's holding my hair away from my face. How can he be so sweet after blaming me? Everything is so confusing right now, we just told the therapist our couple is doing fine and here we are fighting. He helps me brush my teeth and brings me to bed laying with me.

"I am not blaming you, baby. I see why you would think I am but I know it wasn't your fault."

"I should have told you but you were going through a lot and I didn't want you to worry."

"Promise me next time you'll tell me everything and let me protect you," he runs his fingers on my cheek.

"Why would you say next time? You better tell me if someone comes for your cock again, it's MINE!" I reach for it, he giggles.

We haven't had sex aside from him going down on me after claiming my body again, my private area is better but still sore. He refused my offers to please him saying he wants to wait until I'm healed.

His agent is calling him, he rolls out of bed to answer her call. I lay with Nala for a while.