Ever growing 2

Chapter 5

"Good morning, babe!" Ryan is in my dream. I can feel his arms holding me, it feels so real I can even smell him. I roll around colliding into something hard. "Wait, is someone in my bed?" My eyes flutter open in panic soon to be replaced by excitement when I see Ryan's smiling face.

"I've missed you!" he kisses my forehead. My arm wraps around him tightly.

"What are you doing here? I thought I had to pick you up soon?" I ask, my voice thick.

"I wanted to surprise you so I lied about when I'd get here," he rubs his nose on mine.

Suddenly, I feel nauseated, hopping out of bed, I run to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I threw up. "Well, hello morning sickness I guess!" He walks in there as I reach the sink to brush my teeth. He's worried asking if I'm okay. "One of the symptoms when you're pregnant!" I feel dizzy as I put my toothbrush away, gripping the sink and closing my eyes. His arms wrap around my waist, my head rests against his chest. After a minute, I ask him to run me a bath. Being in the tub with him makes me feel better, my head stops spinning.

"I'm glad you have that doctor's appointment today!" he whispers in my ear. I didn't want to say anything but I'm also glad he'll be there with me. Although I understand he has a contract, the selfish part of me wishes he could stay here. I've had to deal with him being gone before but the situation is different now. I'm walking on thin ice not knowing if I should express my true feelings or pretend I'm strong for his sake. Maybe I'm being paranoid but I feel like he's been hiding his feelings too. We've talked every day but I felt him being distant a couple of times. Once we're both clean, he asks me if I'm okay again.

"Ryan, I need to know something," I shift around to look him in the eye. "How have you really been?" I can tell he's surprised when his eyes widen before looking down.

"Umm, not so good... I kind of got in trouble... but things are okay now." His eyes are still avoiding mine.

"Trouble? What do you mean? Why didn't you say anything?" now I'm nervous.

"I don't want you to have to worry about me. I was hungover and I fucked up my lines so the director questioned me about it." I put my fingers under his chin making him look at me.

"Hungover? You went partying?"

"No, I...umm... I missed you so I had beers in my room as a distraction. You know they play a lot of fucking crime shows at night!" tears form in his green eyes.

"Aww, baby! I'm so sorry! It's been hard for me too but you can't get drunk and risk your job. You know better than that!" Part of me is angry that he would do something that would affect his work, the other part of me breaks seeing how emotional he is. I hold him tightly until the water goes cold.

Once we're dressed, he pulls me to stand in between his legs by the bed. "Kiss me!" he asks, his voice shaky. I'm now realizing we haven't kissed yet. I bring my lips to his slowly feeling the familiar fire igniting inside of me. He opens his mouth letting my tongue taste his as he moans softly. A moment later, he breaks the kiss still holding me in his arms, there's a sadness around him as if he's afraid of losing me. "I love you forever, Ryan!" I hope my words will calm him down. "I love you forever, Ella!" he smiles, making his adorable dimples pop. "When do we have to leave?" he asks. "We should probably go now, there's been a lot of constructions going on, ugh!"

The appointment seemed to drag as my doctor kept on asking questions after questions. Overall, I seem to be doing fine although she did worry when I casually mentioned experiencing dizziness sometimes. Ryan gave me a worried look, I hadn't mentioned it to him until he saw me having one earlier. She asked me to monitor my blood pressure as well as asking me to get more blood work done. My next appointment will be set once she has the results until then I must go to the hospital if my dizzy spells get worse or more frequent.

We were on our way home after running some errands when Emma called. "I feel terrible asking because I know Ryan just got there but I have a plumbing issue at the apartment, I can't use the bathroom! Trevor is out of town. Would you mind if I come over to your place until it gets fixed tomorrow?" She knows she can always count on me, Ryan understands the situation as well. We picked up takeout food for dinner and all met at our place.

Ryan and Emma get into a conversation about some Marvel movies when I feel my eyes getting heavy as I'm cuddling in his arms on the couch. It doesn't help that his hand is absently running through my hair making me sleepy. Before I know it, I'm asleep. I vaguely remember him picking me up to bring me to bed.