Ever growing 2

Chapter 54

Overjoyed for Maddy I can't stop smiling as we enter the villa waving goodnight to Cooper and Max. I make my way to the kitchen to have a glass of water with my painkillers. My body is really sore, especially the left side of my lower abdomen.

Ryan asks if I'd like to shower with him, I agree to it but I suddenly feel nervous about the idea of being in a shower alone with him. I still fear our relationship will change because of what happened. Part of me knows it's silly because we love each other but I can't help worrying about his reaction once I'll be able to share details of that night. Thinking about what Jake did to me makes me want to curl in a ball and cry.

My body has been damaged although the doctor said nothing major aside from the bruises. The painkillers are helping but it'll take a few days to heal completely. I realize I've been lost in my thoughts and he's staring at me calling my name. "What?" I ask. "Can I?" He holds the bottle of soap and I also notice I've been standing in the corner while he cleaned himself. I nod.

Softly his hands touch my shoulders first, instantly, I relax under his touch. He moves down to my breasts as he stares into my eyes. Then he gently touches my stomach. I try not to squirm although it's sensitive. My thighs and inner thighs are next, he's still looking at me and I hate what I see. Lust would normally be written in his green eyes but right now they're filled with sadness. I pull away moving under the water where I let my tears silently fall. His lips press on the back of my neck as "sorry" falls from them. His arms wrap around me when I start slipping to the floor shaking from my sobs. He shuts the water with one hand before wrapping towels around us and bringing me to the bed.

A whirlwind of thoughts is rocking my brain. I try to tell myself he's emotional, it's been hard for him too but the thought of losing our connection is shaking me to my core.

I lay with my back to him. "Am I disgusting to you now?" I whisper. "NO! Baby, I'm only scared to hurt you more than you're hurting right now," he whispers in my ear. "Will you tell me what happened?" he adds. Taking a deep breath I roll around to face him. A frown is making his beautiful face look gloomy. I reach with my fingers to try and smooth it away. "I'm scared," I admit. He asks what I'm afraid of. "I don't want it to change our relationship, our love for each other, or the bond we share," I hide my face in his chest. His hand goes to my hair softly running his fingers through it. "It won't! I love you, you should know nothing can break us apart." He says. "He wanted to...I refused." I swallow, trying to build the courage to tell him more. He's breathing hard but being patient. "He forced me to touch him and... And he tried to," I pause when he stops breathing, I move to look at him. His eyes are dark filled with hate. I'm unsure if I should keep talking or if it's too much for him to hear. "You can tell me, baby," he answers me. "He wanted me to give him... He pushed... But I fought back," I'm not even sure he understands everything with all the words I'm simply unable to say. His chest is trembling in anger and again I wonder if I should stop there. I'm amazed I've been able to say that much but what's next is what hurt me the most. I see the torment on his face, he's trying to stay calm for my sake but he's furious. I know he needs a minute so do I. "Will you get me some water?" I ask. He gets out of bed going to the kitchen.

The sound of glass crashing on the wall resonates into the house over and over again. I hear the door of the refrigerator opening before another familiar sound. Bottles of beer clinking as he grabs one. No! I ran to the kitchen standing a foot away from him. Glasses everywhere behind him.

"Ryan! No!" I scream at him before he gets to open it. "I should have let Trevor take care of Sam and went with you! I failed you." he cries. The agony on his face is gut-wrenching. I need to make him understand he's not guilty of anything. "You didn't! Put the bottle down and come here!" I command him. He looks at it in his hand. "I'm just like my father, messing people's lives," He screams. "Ryan, listen to me. You are not your father, you saved my life on multiple occasions. You are the number one reason why I want to keep on living. To be with you, to have you love me. I love you! Please, please put the bottle down and come to me, baby," I hold my breath until he violently throws it across the wall. He then takes the step, taking him to me. I jump into his arms holding on to his shoulders as he cries in the crook of my neck. We stay like this for a moment, him crying, me comforting him.

Without a word, he brings me to bed again laying me down before climbing in. "Can I ask one question?" he whispers as we face each other, I nod. "Did he, did he... penetrate... did he?" He holds his breath bracing himself for the answer. "He did not use... his... but," I can't bring myself to say it. "Fingers?" His eyes are so black, I nod. "And objects," I blurb out as tears rush down my face remembering the intense pain and humiliation I felt. "FUCK!" He lets out in anger. "I didn't want to! I'm sorry!" I suddenly worry that his attraction for me will change as I feared before telling him what happened. "Ella! Don't ever say you're sorry about it again. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!" He shouts the last part. "And I want you, I always will," He guessed my thoughts again.

His lips press on my forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, and finally my lips where he lingers for a moment. Our tears mix when our cheeks rub together before he moves down to my neck leading to my arm also lingering over the handprint on there. I know what he's doing, erasing all traces of Jake on my skin, claiming me as his again. My chest swells feeling his love through every single kiss. My stomach is next where he's very gentle over the bruises. I feel my breath hitch when he brushes over my pubic bone. He looks up silently asking if he can move down. My hands go to his hair slowly guiding him there. He shuffles around to have better access. Soft lips press on my left thigh and then on the right one. With my hands still in his hair, I let him get to my sex. He places one kiss on there before pausing to see my reaction. My legs instinctively spread for him. He wraps his arms around my thighs bringing his mouth closer. His tongue makes contact with my clit, it feels good, electrifying. I let out the breath I've been holding realizing I feared the pain, I don't feel any. Just the usual warm feeling I get from his loving touch. He flicks on my clit a few times. "Are you okay?" he asks, noticing me being quiet which is unusual. "Yes," I run my fingers through his curls lightly pushing him against me. He licks around and I reward him with a moan. He moves down to my entrance, it feels good until he tries to slide his tongue in, I hiss closing my legs slightly. "Do you want me to stop?" He asks looking up at me. "Clit only?" I suggest. "Tell me if it hurts, okay?" I nod. His tongue circles my bud again before flicking over it. My legs spread wider again. He nibbles on it before sucking. I'm relieved to feel pleasure, intense pleasure. "Baby?" I want him to try something. He removes his mouth to answer me. "Use your tongue up and down, don't go in," I blush as I ask him. "Are you shy?" he giggles, I hide my face with my hand. I don't know why I'm shy about asking what I want but for some reason, it feels like the first time he started exploring my body. One of his hands reaches to remove mine from my face. Flattening his tongue he presses it against me, I arch my back with a loud moan. His hand holds mine resting them intertwined on my chest as he runs his mouth up and down. He combines the movement with him stopping in between to pay attention to my sensitive spot. The anxiety of feeling pain is gone welcoming the pleasure. It feels heavenly. My body temperature just went up even more. Soon I'm producing sounds that are getting louder and louder. I feel the heat in my inner core about to erupt. My free hand moves him to my clit telling him what to focus on now. I get anxious about letting go and he can sense it. "Baby, come for me," he coaxes me. He gently spreads my lips and blows on my clit. "Ryan!" my hips buck off the bed. He does it again before latching on my clit and sucking. With a soft cry of his name, I come undone in his mouth. He laps up and down a few times to collect all my wetness humming in pleasure.

Moving back to my side, his glistening lips press on mine. I look at him and his nose caresses mine bringing a smile to my lips like it always does. Tears form in my eyes as I look into his green eyes. "What's wrong? Does it hurt?" Worry is written on his face. "No, not at all, they're happy tears. You made me feel so good, babe," I explain as his thumbs wipe my tears away. He brings me to lay with my head on his chest, his arms around me, possessively. Soon he falls asleep, I drift off shortly after while listening to his steady heartbeat in my ear.