Every day seems to be the same here. I wake up, shower, have breakfast then I either write or talk to some people. Time for lunch, sometimes I nap in the afternoon from pure boredom. Then we have a group session talking about our demons as they say. Dinner time, sometimes one on one with Jason, and then I go to bed.
I haven't felt the need or want to drink ever since I got here which is good. I do however want and need to see Ella. The treatment made me realize I was living in a bubble before I met her. I did date here and there but I never loved anyone the way that I love her. My body and soul are connected to hers now. The emotions I went through in the past year have been intense but her love has changed me making me so happy. However, going through some of the things we experienced, Isabelle, car accident, pregnancy, miscarriage have been challenging. Faking on camera is easy but experiencing such events in real life is a different story. Ironically, I had roles in love stories without actually believing in them. Sure, I thought I would find love but I never knew you could be as close to someone as Ella and I are. I feel empty whenever we're apart.
The idea that I will see my love in 2 days makes me very excited. Feeling better and stronger now, I know I'll be able to be the man she deserves. I wonder how she's been, what she's been doing while I'm here. I'm so used to at least talk to her every day. I hate not knowing how her days have been.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Mike, a guy that's here for drug use asks me.
"Why are you asking?"
"You look all emo and shit," he says.
"Just thinking about my wife, I miss her," I explain.
"At least you're leaving in 2 days, I'm stuck here for a while," he now looks sad too.
"Hey cheer up, you've been doing great in our sessions!" I try to make him smile.
"Thanks! You better be nice to your wife, she sounds amazing!" he lays a friendly punch on my shoulder walking away.
"Oh don't worry, I won't fuck up anymore!" I think to myself as I walk back to my room for the night. I now have a folder filled with sheets of my writings. Some are just some random words, some are stories but most are talking about Ella and me or my family. I've been wondering what's in Ella's journal, I know she's been writing one since the accident but she never showed me. Maybe one day we could share with each other.
Although I've been to her therapy sessions before, I never knew how challenging they are. The one I attended when she got pregnant was emotional but the ones I've had here were on a different level. I guess I never thought I had to work on myself the same way she's been working on her issues. I was selfish to think she was the only one who would need help. I knew deep down inside she's strong and she would conquer her struggles.
Tears prick at my eyes as I lay in bed. That's another thing I've never done before. Cry that many real tears in such a short amount of time other than when I had a sad scene to shoot. A vision of her pops into my mind giving me hope for the future. Eventually, I find sleep.
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Ever growing 2
FanfictionSecond book. Ella and Ryan are facing new challenges forcing them to push themselves. Ryan will reveal things about himself that may rock their world. Will they make it through the hardships as a couple?
