Ever growing 2

Chapter 18

The next day

The past two weeks have been draining, totally exhausting. Not only have I been working long hours, but I've also had three therapy sessions. I volunteered to work overtime trying to distract myself from constantly thinking about Ryan. The therapy sessions were also there to help me understand how he got there.

If you ask me to describe my husband, I would say confident, funny, charming, positive, and of course, sexy. I knew we were going through a lot of new and intense emotions but I never expected him to break as he did. "I'm supposed to be the emotionally fucked up one!" Diane, my therapist reminded me that he has to help himself before I can try to assist him.

Scrolling through pictures on my phone, I find one from our honeymoon. We were in the pool, I'm smiling for the camera while he's looking at me. You can see his love for me in the way he's staring. Prayers have been sent every day for him to find peace and come back stronger.

My phone pulls me from my thoughts. "Hey girl, how are you holding up? He's coming home tomorrow right?" Maddy asks me. "Well, you know, trying to stay busy! I'm now counting the hours," I tell her knowing that she'll comment about me working overtime. Right as expected she tells me "That's good but don't work too hard! You're allowed to relax even if he's dealing with something important." I smile, somehow, hearing her makes me feel better. We chit chat for a while, I know she's trying to keep me from going back to my workload and I appreciate it.

Looking at the clock, I see 11 PM! "Maddy! We've been talking for two hours!" No wonder I was getting tired. "Yeah, and you forgot about work, you laughed and you love me so don't complain!" she giggles. "I'm not complaining at all, I'm very grateful for your call and you. I don't tell you enough but I love you so much. Having you in my life is a blessing!" I tell her. "Aww, Ella, I love you so much!" she gets choked up. After telling her good night, I text Emma to remind her how much I love her as well.

I hop in bed feeling anxious, less than 12 hours until he gets home. Being unable to talk to him in the past weeks has left me wondering how he's doing. He's usually very receptive but then again his latest actions have left me speechless. When I heard about him punching his costar, I was surprised, to say the least. He was drunk but I've never known him to be in that state of mind. My therapist helped me realize I viewed him as my rock, the solid one in our relationship. After hours of tossing and turning, I make my way back to the living room turning on the tv. The crime show channel helps me distract myself until I finally pass out.