Ever growing 2

Chapter 60

Ryan left early for a long day of shooting. After showering and putting myself together, I sit on the chair staring at my computer. I asked Ryan if I could take time to find a new passion but now I feel insecure about it. I don't know if I should figure out what I want to do before quitting my job or the other way around. I've never been in a situation like this before. I'm incredibly grateful for my husband allowing me to find something that makes me happy but I still feel pressured to figure it out quickly.

I decided to work on my tasks to keep me from going insane thinking about my future. I ended up completing everything by lunch. Proud of my work, I then thought I deserved to take the afternoon off.

I text Max telling him I need to go out. I honestly don't even know where I'm going but I want to enjoy the city. He comes with me on a walk across Stanley Park talking about random things. I discovered that he has a brother and he's from Texas, he's never been a full-time bodyguard before, he would do work on events or some concerts where people hire extra security. "I must say it's been great working for you, you're awesome," He smiles at me. "Thanks! You and Cooper have been doing an amazing job," I return his smile. I offer him Starbucks again before going back to the hotel after a couple of hours.

Once I'm there, Maddy calls me asking how I feel about Emma being pregnant. I understand why Maddy would check on me thinking it might have upset me but it didn't. I'm honestly happy for my friend. Having a baby isn't something I want to think about right now, Ryan and I agreed on it. My work in therapy has paid off. Her question makes me wonder if I should ask Ryan the same because he struggled too. We end up on a group chat once Emma gets home to talk about my work. They're encouraging me to quit and enjoy life for a little bit. We can afford it so I might as well take time to figure out what I want.

Later on, while I'm still waiting for Ryan, our lawyer calls to inform me Jake dared to plead not guilty and we need to meet so we can get ready for court. It might not happen right away but he still needs us to tell him everything that happened so he can get everything ready. I've watched enough crime shows to know it was coming but a part of me was avoiding thinking about it and what it implies. I tell him I'll discuss it with my husband so we can find a date to meet.

My heart sinks as I hang up the phone, I sit on the couch crying. Ryan walks in at the same moment, he doesn't see me right away. But then he walks to me and his face pales when he realizes I'm upset. "Hey, babe, what's wrong?" He sits pulling me to him. I tell him about the call I just got. He's furious with Jake's decision but he tries his best to comfort me. I never told him everything Jake did to me and I'm still afraid to do so. But the pressure is on now that I'll have to tell the attorney.

He shifts me around so he can massage my shoulders, I relax into his touch. Trying to lighten the mood, he tells me he was able to complete his work so we have the day to ourselves tomorrow. I'm very excited about it! But then his hands dig a little deeper when he asks me about my day and I tell him about my walk around the park with Max. He goes silent.

"Don't be jealous!" I turn around to look him in the eye. "I'm not," he shrugs looking down. "Ryan, look at me and repeat it," I challenge him. "I'm jealous. Are you happy? I hate it! I've never been the jealous type before you. But you mean so much to me, you mean the world, I can't help myself. I'm sure you'll say I'm paranoid, but I see the way he looks at you sometimes. So go ahead and yell at me but it's the fucking truth," He growls. "I won't do it again," I say. "What? You're not mad?" His eyes go wide. "No, because I understand where you're coming from. I want you to know I won't stop buying him Starbucks or having small talks, but I will not actually spend time with him if you don't like it. I respect your feelings. We should maybe talk about it in therapy just so it doesn't become a problem for us," I kiss him softly. "Have you ever considered being a therapist? You've made a lot of progress, and I love your approach, baby," He rubs my nose with his. His statement is unexpected but what's more surprising is the fact that I don't hate the idea. Helping people sounds gratifying. I'm just not sure how it'd work since we travel a lot. But I might look into it.