Leave Me Lonely (JB+AG)

Leave Me Lonely (56)

Ariana

Wednesday, January 18

10:34 pm

Flying back home without Justin was rough. Since his deployment was so unexpected, I had to take his suitcase with most of his clothes as well as my own, and my cranky daughter. My mom helped as much as she could until we got to the airport, but after going through security, I was on my own.

Fortunately, I didn't have all of our bigger bags, but I still had Lilia's diaper bag, and would be retrieving her car seat before we boarded the plane, which leaves at 11.

"Mama!" Lilia squeals, smacking my boob with her hand.

"Ow, babe. Lily you have to be gentle, sweetie." I tell her, holding her hand with my own.

She was supposed to be asleep, but since we were moving so much, she woke up and was bothering me for milk. I didn't feel comfortable feeding her in public like this without Justin being there. I know it's natural and I shouldn't be nervous about feeding my child, and usually I'm not, but there were a lot of creepy men staring at me in the airport.

There wasn't a lot of flights at this time so few people could be seen walking around, but I was uncomfortable being out in the open so I grabbed the diaper bag and made my way to the restroom.

To my complete surprise, there was another woman also breastfeeding her son.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're in here for the same reason I am." I say, dropping the diaper bag on a small table in the bathroom.

"If the reason you're in here is because of all the unusually creepy men that this airport seems to be filled with, then absolutely. I don't know what's so attractive about a woman feeding her child."

"Exactly!" I take a seat in the unoccupied chair next to her and begin to breastfeed Lilia. "My boyfriend might find it attractive, but that's a whole different story. This is just weird."

She laughs, holding her hand out for me to shake.

"I'm Larissa. This little guy is Joshua."

"He is so precious. I'm Ariana, and this is Lilia. It's nice to meet you."

"You too. You have an adorable little girl. How old is she?"

"Just about 10 months. And my goodness is she a mess."

"Oh yeah, I remember that stage. Always attached to mom, throwing tantrums because you don't know what they want, overall very loud." We both laugh at the last part. "Josh will be one in a couple days, and trust me, it only gets worse. Instead of just crying, he's started screaming like he's being murdered. He throws himself back when he doesn't get what he wants, which I've told him multiple times is extremely dangerous, especially when I'm holding him."

"Oh my, I have a lot to look forward to then." I look down at Lilia, who's sucking on my boob like a little innocent angel.

"Absolutely. But of course, the good times outweigh the bad. Besides the tantrums, he's the sweetest little boy. I couldn't ask for a better baby."

"Well that's great to hear. I'm looking forward to see my little girl grow up, but I still want her to be little forever."

"Flight 2490 to Orange County, California will begin the boarding process in 5 minutes." A woman says through the intercom.

Realizing that's my flight, I smile at Larissa.

"Well, that's my cue. Hey, you wanna share Instagrams?"

"Sure. Mine is @larissapowell92."

I quickly go to Instagram and follow her before facing the daunting task of pulling Lilia off my boob. Of course, she cries, but I give her the pacifier and stand up.

After grabbing the diaper bag and saying bye to Larissa, I head back to the terminal and get ready for our long 5 hour flight.

1:23 am

2 hours into the flight, my daughter was not happy. I tried everything I could to get her to quiet down, but she just was not having it. I felt bad for keeping everyone awake, but there was a toddler also making a lot of noise, so I wasn't alone. At least he was just laughing and playing, and wasn't screaming his head off like my dramatic child. 

I call her dramatic, but she really can't help it. She's obviously extremely tired, and after feeling her forehead and cheek, I concluded that she was warm and probably getting sick. I didn't know what caused it, but I did know that this was about to be a long 3 hours. 

"Mama, baby crying." I hear the toddler say. They were sitting a couple seats in front of me, and the boy kept taking breaks from playing to look back at us.

"I know, Adrian. You used to be a loud crier like that too. I know that mom is doing her best, though." 

"Maybe need hug!" Before I can even comprehend it, the little boy has made his way out of his seat and ran back to mine.

"Hi!" He beams.

"Oh hello. What can I do for you?" I smile. Lilia quiets down and stares at the toddler.

"Baby need hug?" He asks. 

"Well, I'm sure she would love that, but she's not feeling very well and I don't want you to get sick. I'm sure your mommy wouldn't be very happy about that." I tell him. 

The boys mom appears next to him, grabbing his hand.

"I am so sorry about that. He is so quick and I was holding the baby." She says.

"Oh, don't worry about it. He's so sweet, you're doing a wonderful job." 

"Well, thank you. And you are doing a great job. I heard you say she's not feeling well. I have some Motrin in my diaper bag if you need it."

"Oh my goodness, that would be amazing. I don't know why I didn't think to pack it, I guess I just didn't expect her to get sick. I'll definitely be more prepared next time." 

"No problem, I'll get it right now. Adrian, can you say bye-bye?" 

"Bye-bye! Hope baby feel better." He says, running back to his seat where I assume his father is sitting with his sibling. 

His mom follows him to their seats and returns with a medicine cup of the disgusting pink liquid. I grab the cup I was given from the flight attendants and she pours the medicine in.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this helps me." I tell her.

"Oh trust me, I do. Just remember, always help a fellow mom out if you can. Have a good rest of your flight." She smiles before returning to her seat.

I put the cup to Lilia's lips, allowing the liquid to flow onto her tongue. She dramatically swallows with a face of disgust. As I expected, she's out in less than an hour and I can finally take a breath.

A/N: I'm sure everyone has forgotten about this book along with all my others, but I'm slowly getting back into writing so if anyone reads this I hope you enjoyed. :)