Leave Me Lonely (32)

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Ariana

Thursday, January 4

7:18 am

"Back to work today, Lily." I say.

As if she understand what I'm saying, she immediately starts to cry.

"Yeah, I know, baby. That's exactly how I feel."

I know she's crying for no reason, so I let her sit on the floor and cry while I get ready for work.

I take a shower, brush my teeth, do my hair, and get dressed, while Lilia crawls around the bathroom floor, playing with the makeup that I don't use anymore. She can't open it, but she likes to use the brushes on the floor like she's painting or something. I let her because it keeps her occupied while I'm getting ready.

But when I am ready, I take Lilia to the kitchen so she can eat. I give her fruit and yogurt for breakfast, the same thing she almost always eats, while I go pick her outfit for the day.

Once I pick her outfit, I return to the kitchen to see the mess that she has made with her food.

"Good job, baby. You managed to get most of your food on your body and not your mouth. I couldn't be prouder." I sigh, taking Lilia out of her high chair.

I don't have time to give her a bath, so I use a bunch of wipes to clean her up. I'm such a great mom. Once she's clean, I get her dressed and put her hair in 2 pigtails.

"You look adorable today, princess

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"You look adorable today, princess." I say, placing her on the floor in the living room.

She plays with toys while I clean her high chair.

8:23 am

"Lily, it's time to go. Say bye to all your little friends." I pick Lilia up and she starts to cry, so I grab one toy and give it to her.

"I know you haven't had a bottle today, so, me being the good mother I am, I made you one. You can drink it in the car."

I walk out of my apartment and to my car, placing Lilia in her car seat and her diaper bag right next to her. I give her the bottle I made and she starts to drink it as I close the door.

I get in the drivers seat and put my seatbelt on before leaving the parking lot.

12:22 pm

"I am on my lunch break, thank you very much." I tell Justin.

"You're not eating though, so is it really a lunch break?" He replies.

"I'm not hungry." I laugh.

"Is that so? What did you eat for breakfast?"

"Coffee."

"Coffee is not a food. Baby, have you eaten anything at all today?"

Justin sounds genuinely concerned, but I've gone full days without eating. That's just what happens when your child won't leave you alone.

"No, I have not."

"Baby girl, I'm bringing you lunch. What do you want?" I see Justin stand up through my phone and sigh.

"I don't want anything. I told you I'm not hungry."

"How are you not hungry if you haven't eaten all day?" He asks.

"Because I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be. From now on, I will bring you food whenever you want it. I don't care if it's 2 am, I will get my ass up and go to McDonalds to get you a small fry, if that's all you want. Now, what the hell do you want me to bring you?"

"Fine. If you're not gonna give up, I'll take Chipotle."

"Chipotle it is. You want anything specific?"

"Nope, surprise me."

"Thank you. You're gonna eat even if I have to shove it down your throat."

"I have an idea of something you can shove down my throat." I mumble.

Justin snorts and I smile.

"I'm so glad you don't have work tomorrow." He says.

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