Leave Me Lonely (JB+AG)

Leave Me Lonely (41)

Ariana

Sunday, January 8

8:13 am

"I think I'm ready to talk about what happens yesterday. I don't wanna just not say anything about it." I whisper to Justin.

We're just laying in my bed, both of us had woken up at the same time and refused to get up. He's going home later today or tomorrow, so I want to spend all the time with him I can. That includes this sacred time before Lilia wakes up.

"Baby girl, you know you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. If you're not ready, I understand. Don't try to rush it for me."

"No, I just wanna tell you now. I'll make it the short version cause I know Lilia's gonna wake up soon."

"Take your time."

"My grandpa was basically like our second dad cause my dad left when I was nine, and Frankie's way before that. Well, Frankie is gay and my grandpa didn't like that. He didn't support the decisions that he made, and he let everyone know. If you knew my grandpa you would know that he's extremely straightforward and doesn't hold anything back."

"Sounds like my kinda guy." Justin chuckles and I smile.

"Yeah, so Frankie came out to everyone about 3 years before my grandpa died, and through those three years their relationship just kept going down and they eventually didn't really talk at all. Then, he died, and Frankie left like right after we found out. He didn't come to his funeral, and he didn't come home until a couple days after the funeral." My voice cracks and I pause for a couple seconds, trying to hold back my tears.

"Baby, don't cry. I'm so sorry." Justin rubs my back and I wipe my eyes before continuing.

"When he finally did come home, my mom and Nonna were so fucking pissed at him. We were all so scared cause we didn't know where he was, and he came home and he was a completely different person. Him and my mom argued for hours, and he kept yelling at her, and when I went to shut him up, he pushed me. I fell like on my left arm and hurt it really bad. It was swollen and bruised for days. That just made my mom even more mad, and of course, I was too. We just kept arguing and yelling for hours, until my Nonna told us to shut the fuck up and go to bed."

"I like her. She sounds cool." Justin laughs.

"Yeah, I miss her. I wanna go see her and take Lilia to see her but that means I would have to see my mom and I don't want to see her."

"Why? I thought she was on your side?"

"She was, but like a week later she forgave Frankie and I still haven't. I know you're not supposed to hold grudges or whatever, and this may seem like a stupid reason to other people, but out of all the people in my family, I was closest to my grandpa and Frankie. Then, grandpa died and the old Frankie along with him so now I have no one but Nonna, and I wanna talk to my mom, I want to let her see Lilia, but I'm just not ready."

"When do you think you'll be ready?"

"I don't even know. Maybe I'll call her one of these days, I just don't know what I would say."

"Maybe start with hi mom." Justin says.

I was literally paying zero attention to him or what he was doing, and when I finally turned around, I saw that he was facetiming my mom.

"Justin, no!" I grab for my phone but he yanks it away and a few seconds later my mom answers.

"Ariana? Is it really you?" I hear her voice, for the first time in 9 months, and I break down into tears.