Chapter 7

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   WARNING- Blood, depression, more blood, self-harm, sadness. :(

For the past few days Grian had stayed in his base alone. No one contacted him and he was better than fine with that.

He didnt deserve to get contacted.

He let out a small sigh. He had been chipping away at the second hole by his base. It was all he'd been doing ever since he left Xisumas home besides sleep. Although that was mostly just laying in the bed waiting for sleep to actually come.

He didnt use TNT, afraid he would damage his mantion again. It was a hastle to have to re-build even a small part, having to go through countless chests and find the blocks that had been blown up then place them again followed by cobwebs so no mob spawned.

At the moment the sun was very low and Grian had a pickax in hand. His stomach let out a growl. He hadn't had time to eat for the past few days either. Well, maybe it wasnt time that did it. Maybe it was because he just didnt deserve it.

'Didn't deserve' was becoming a common thought trail in his mind.

He thought back to the scene. How he had effortlessly PVP'd and hurt his friends with no pity for them at all. He had been satisfied to see the pain on their faces.

From what Grian caught in the chat, (himself not taking part in any of the conversations) Scar was still a bit unstable from what Grian had done.

And that was probably the reason no one visited him. They were probably scared that he might do the same to them.

On other news Grian hadn't heard anything of NPC Grian at all. For all he knew NPC Grian was only trying to get revenge on him for whatever reason and not the server itself.

So maybe the next time he saw a hermit the voice would attempt something big. But maybe not. Maybe it was trying to make Grian hope it was gone or was spending time going over its plans.

His right hand thumb, which was wrapped around the pickax, dug into his finger tip. He felt a small frizz of pain. Not enough to bleed of course but enough to distract his thoughts.

He had been doing that a lot lately. Just made himself get a small pain because what he had done to the others was much worse. In fact maybe if was better if he did bleed. Again, what he had done was so much worse...

Wait. That thought sounded kinda forced, and like something was ebbing his emotions to agree with it.

NPC Grian.

If Grian would gather a lot of breath in his mind he would have and it also would have been followed with the thought, GET OUT!!!! He did actually do the second part of that.

GET OUT!

But it felt like NPC Grian was fighting back and Grian could only think a few things.

I deserve pain.

They wont care.

I shouldn't ever be happy.

An image of False splayed on the ground came into his mind. The blood from Mumbo was there as well with the scene of Grian killing Cub and watching Scar sway crazily.

Grian tried to fight the thoughts. But he found himself quickly agreeing. No! Im stronger than this!

But NPC Grian was right. Even though he had warped through Grian and made him think some things Grian was the one who acted on that. He was the one who decided that killing his friends was a good idea.

Grian let out a breath. The air around him was starting to get a bit cold from the night.

He started to head towards his mantion. The top hollow part. Taking steps up the stairs he got halfway before stopping.

He wondered if any hermitcrafter had done what he was about to do.

Looking down he went up the rest of the steps. The breeze bit at him, warning him of goosebumps.

He opened the big door to the mantion slowly. Taking a step inside, he looked around and up at the hole at the back of the mantion.

He closed the door behind him and air tried to sweep through it with one final gust before it made the clicking sound declaring it was closed. Grians wings twitched.

The small hermit took a step inside. He dug a block out of the ground and replaced it with water. It made a decent sized puddle.

He sat and leaned against the wooden door.

Grian rolled up his left sleeve. He thought of Mumbo. Would Mumbo approve of what he was about to do?

He took a diamond sword out of his inventory.

He looked at it for a second. Then a tear slid down his cheek. They rolled after eachother, all slow and without any noises. Grian wiped his eyes on the right sleeve and forced himself to stop.

He placed the sword on the top of his arm, below the elbow.

Taking a breath he slid it down, and if he had to measure out deep it was it would be a centimeter of a centimeter of a centimeter. It was definitely enough for blood to come out.

It dripped of his arm. Grians teeth clutched from the pain that followed. But he did it again. This time it would be a centimeter of a centimeter. Which was... pretty far into his skin. He could go deeper though. He followed up. Again and again.

Soon his arm and his shirt and almost everything had blood on it.

He clutched his eyes shut, his arm throbbing. His head swam.

Finally deciding to stop Grian lifted his arm which hurt a lot. He dipped it into the still water, making it feel like needles were being pressed into the wound.

The water was quickly dyed red.

He kept it there for a really long while. When he took it out his arm was clean but blood still sprouted quickly.

Grian took his enderchest out of his inventory and placed it down. His arm still really hurt, and Grian grabbed a bandage.

He wrapped it round and round slowly. The bandage was a thick one- Grian was sure it wouldn't let any blood seep through it.

He went ahead and wrapped it around his palm and thumb as well to make sure it stayed in place. When he finished he cut the end of the bandage and stuck it under one of the wraped around straps so it wouldn't fall apart.

Grian grabbed the sword and cleaned the edge in the red puddle. He put it back into his inventory along with the ender chest.

Grian rolled his sleeve back down. His arm throbbed and pain seemed to be etched into him.

He stood, the ground under him stained with his blood. He would have to change into a new red juniper and pants soon.

Grian was soon under his mantion again.

His gaze darkened and he wondered how much times he was going to cut himself again.

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Hello! Story writer here! That uh- got a bit deep. Heh. dont worry, Grian will turn out fine! I'm planning on a happy ending. Or at least happy-ish, meaning some sad but mostly happy. Thank you for reading, it means the entire world to me! This part has 1240 words.

-Me

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