Broken ~A Hermitcraft Fanfic~

Chapter 13

     Mumbo looked up and met Grians gaze. It was full of concern.

Grian looked around, tears starting to fill his eyes.

He landed on the ground and looked around.

"I-im sorry.." he muttered.

Hermits still seemed in shock that he had sprouted fire.

It must have been a few minutes because Xisuma soon got there from after respawning.

He looked at all of them before clearing his voice.

"I think.. I should have a talk with Grian." He said.

Mumbo suddenly jutted out with a "Could I come as well?"

X looked at him.

"Please?"

Xisuma gave in, nodding.

"I want Impulse, xB, and Etho there as well." He said.

Soon hermits began to depart. Grian watched as they gave Grian looks before leaving.

Later xB, Grian, Mumbo, and Etho were all at Xisumas base, sitting at the round table.

Xisuma had explained everything to Mumbo on the way there. But Grian knew that wasnt the only reason he wanted to come.

"Grian, did you know that you had fire before?" Xisuma asked.

Grian shook his head no.

"Well.. I think this might have to cause for a new safety feature. I've really been trying to be nice about this but.." X took a small breath "I think it's better if you just stay at your base from now on. Same with you Etho."

Grian looked at Impulse, wondering if he would still have to stick with Grian. Then he saw Impulses gaze resting on Grians arm. Ah. He finally noticed.

It seemed as if Impulse noticed that Grian noticed he noticed because he said "Grian... what actually happened to your arm?"

Silence.

Then Grian said "What do you mean?"

Impulse said dreadingly "You said you hit it with a pickax. But thats.. not a pickax wound."

"What? I didn't say that." Grian said, trying to hook on any excuse he could.

"Grian, you did. It's why I came." Mumbo said.

Grian looked at Impulse and Mumbo before looking down. Tears came to his eyes and he tried as hard as possible not to let them slide down.

"I.." his voice cracked.

He blinked and two tears came down. He looked up, making himself smile.

"I cut myself, okay? I cut myself because I fucking deserve it."

A shocked silence came. Shocked because Grian had been cutting himself but also because he cussed. That rarely happened on the hermitcraft server.

Grian didn't dare meet anyones gaze. He just looked down, wishing he could die.

"Grian, how long have you been cutting yourself?" X asked.

Grian shook his head. "Not long, really. I've only done two sessions." He said, trying to sound as casual as he could.

"Grian... that's.. thats horrible." Xisuma said. Grian looked at his arm. It was torn. Most of the cuts were very deep. Grian had even gotten a bit dizzy from blood loss after the second cutting.

"Well, who cares anyway. I've done so much worse to others." Grian said.

He was still looking down with a broken smile.

"Grian, dont talk like that! I care!" Mumbo burst out. Grian could practically hear the tears coming from his mustached friend.

"Well I dont know why! If anything I should just go and die but that's impossible! I would just respawn!" Grian said.

"Grian.." Etho muttered, sounding like he himself was close to tears.

"G-Grian I- we- really dont blame you. Please don't cut..." Xisumas voice got weaker with every word.

Grian looked to the side. Tears were still coming down. And he still had a smile.

"Grian, I've- I've been there." Grian looked over at Mumbo who said the words. They met eye contact.... "Ive.. never that deep though." Mumbo said. Grian felt more tears come. Mumbo has cut himself.

"Mumbo, you didnt deserve it, but I do-o!" Grian was still smiling.

"Grian, I know the spot you are in. Trust me, it isnt worth it. I've gone through that hole and now I'm out." Mumbo said.

But Grian didnt feel that way. He deserved every single bite of pain he got. And cutting himself was a way to release stress.

Grian got up and pushed his chair in.

"Have you ever hurt your friends? Ever watched as they died from your doing? And thing is-" Grian laughed-" I'm doing it myself! All NPC Grian is doing is giving me a feeling! Just a bit of anger! I'm the one who comes out of it in violence! I choose what I do! It dosent control me, I do! And everytime I see someone I dont like I just want to snap their neck! Cause as much pain as I can!" Grian laughed again and he glitched.

Glitched.

It made his eyes and wings pitch black for a fraction of a second and made his colors look like they moved before going back to place. It didnt last long as all, but everyone noticed.

And everyone was shocked.

"I wish I could leave. I wish I could die. But that isnt going to happen." Grian said.

"Grian, you- you glitched.." Xisuma said.

Grian met Xisumas gaze, his own eyes widening. I glitched? 

"Well, I guess that fits me, dosent it? I'm broken. All I'm here to do is try and stop NPC Grian from taking over. But I dont know how I'm supposed to do that when I cant even keep him from taking over me."

It was silent for a few minutes.

Grian looked out of Xisumas base from where he was. How much trouble would it be if he just flew away?

"Xisuma, why dont you just release me from the server? So nothing I brought into hermitcraft can do anything bad." Grian said.

The admin had the power to 'release' hermits meaning that after the hermit died they had the power to leave forever.

"No Grian. I won't do that. I've been in a similar spot you are in right now- something coming because of a past life I had. But it all turned out alright in the end. So just fight it. Dont give up. Because you seem like half the life of this server! Practically everything big that happens all comes to you!"

Grian spoke. "I cant fight it, okay? I've tried. I've really tried- but like I said I'm the one making my choices. I could take over this server easily. Its like- it's like an instinct I didn't realize I had."

Silence echoed.

"Grian, you dont have any way of fighting it?" Impulse asked.

Grian shook his head no.

"I think I should just go back to my base." he said, starting to walk to the edge of Xisumas ledge.

"Wait Grian, you wont cut yourself, right?" Etho said.

Grian flew away to his base without answer.

Yes he would. And he did.

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Hello! Story writer here! Thank you for reading!! This part has 1151 words.

-Me