Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I'm in Washington motherfucker!!! I don't know why I'm calling my journal a motherfucker I'm just very excited. This is the farthest I've ever been from New York, I think I owe Flash for roping me into this whole decathlon thing because free field trips are "totally baller." Anyways, enough talk about that, today's entry is gonna be serious, ok?
Epiphany.
That's my word of the day. It means "a moment of sudden revelation or insight." I had an epiphany today. Two epiphanies kind of. I'm still uncertain about one of them, but I'm definitely sure about the other. The one I'm sure about?
I have a crush on Peter Parker.
The other epiphany grew from the first one, which is that I like boys. I think I've always liked boys. I don't know maybe I still like girls... maybe? Maybe I just haven't found the right girl? I don't know. I think Liz is pretty... but I don't think that I could see myself dating her – or any girl actually. I know I'm just rambling nonsense right now. My brain is all over the place.
But...now that I think about it, my crush on Spider-Man might not be a I want to be him crush, but more of a I want to bewithhim crush.
So wait a minute....am I......gay...??? Oh my god, how would I even tell my parents that. I don't, right? Not yet? My hand is shaking just at the thought of that confrontation, so I'm gonna stop writing about that right now because I don't need Flash coming out of the bathroom to find me crying on the hotel room floor surrounded by chocolate bar wrappers and a half empty bottle of wine.* So now I'm gonna write about something happy.
Peter and I played on my Switch pretty much the entire bus ride. He kinda sucks at Super Mario, but that's totally okay. Watching him softly curse under his breath while having this look of pure concentration and confusion might be one of the cutest things I've ever seen. One of the other cutest things? When he messes up and he looks over at me but gets flustered because I was already looking at him.
So apologies to Spider-Man. I no longer have that big of a crush on you.
*Side note: who thought it was a good idea to stock the minibar with alcohol when kids were staying in the room? Honestly though, thank you to whatever idiot who did. I'm gonna get in so much trouble when Mr. Harrington sees the bill tomorrow, but at least I feel somewhat good right now.
