All That I Really Wanted (English Version)

It doesn't feel real

It was the habit that woke her up. She knew it was early without looking at her watch, because Luke would be awake in a few minutes, demanding to be fed and waking up his brother in the process. She buried her face further into the pillow.

"Jo, it's almost time for Luke's breakfast."

When she didn't hear any response, she thought that the brunette must be really asleep or more dedicated to pretending that she was. She shook her head and struggled to stand up.

"Okay, sleepyhead, I'll bring him"

She turned, the smile slipping slowly from her mouth as she stared at the empty bed. Her chest clenched as her gaze drifted to the empty space where a crib should be. She sighs, knowing that she should go back to sleep and try to forget everything once more time. But she couldn't.

Unable to return to the cold, lonely bed, she left the room and headed into the forest. Her clothes thrown away while she shifts into her wolf.

When the sun rise hours later, golden rays shone on the naked girl sitting in the middle of the meadow, the most powerful being in the world crying uncontrollably.

Alaric watched the familiar scenery from the kitchen window, sipping coffee from his mug. Thinking of Hope, he was worried about how Landon's death might affect the girl.

He heard how the door opened, showing the girl that he cared so much.

"Good morning" the tribrid's expression was haggard and her eyes sad.

"Good morning," he said to the tribrid in a deliberately cheerful voice, hoping that something would seep into the auburn girl and bring her out of her listless mood. "are you hungry? We can have breakfast before training "

"No" she said without stopping on her way to her room "I'm not hungry, I'll change for training"

Alaric watched as her small body disappeared from view. He could still see Hope's expression when she looked at Landon's lifeless body. After the boy's funeral, Hope had become angry, uncommunicative, and sad-eyed.

He looks at his mug thoughtfully. He knew that Hope had loved Landon, but he couldn't help but think that there was something else the girl wasn't telling him.

An hour later, Alaric and Hope had finished training, the auburn girl was gathering her things and was about to leave when Alaric stopped her.

"you're good?" asked the director.

"I'm fine"

"Hope, I know you loved Landon and at first I thought this was all about him, but there is something else isn't there?"

Hope frowned, debating whether to tell Alaric the truth or not.

"You won't believe it. I can hardly believe it myself "

"I'm the director of a school for supernatural beings, Hope. I don't think you can say something that surprises me "he smiled" try me "

Hope told him everything, her encounter with Argos and the alternate world where she lived, the life she had had with Josie and finally her children, Andy and Luke.

Alaric could only listen, trying to control the tears that threatened to leak out, as he tried to understand the enormity of what Hope had lost.

"And then" she finished in a low voice "everything was gone"

"Hope" began, but words failed him.

"You loved them so much," Hope said with tears shining in her eyes. "You were always happy to spend time with them, you loved carrying them around when you did your tours around the school, you took care of them when Josie and I had classes"

His heart ached for Hope and the children he had never held.

"You know, my father once told me that the greatest fear of all parents is losing their children forever. But this is worse, because no one else remembers them. No one can cry with me. I can't even go to their mother and hold her while I try to convince myself that one day this pain in my heart will disappear, because here we aren't in love" she let out a bitter laugh.

Unable to stay in front of Alaric any longer, Hope turned, wanting to go.

"You may not believe it now, but things will get better. I know this has to be incredibly difficult for you, Hope. You still have this life; you have people who love you "

"Alaric, I know you want to help, but the life without my kids..." she shook her head "doesn't feel real. It is as if this is the dream and at any moment, I will wake up and be at home, with them. But I never wake up"

"Oh Hope" the man hugged her. The tribrid let out a great sigh, as she momentarily shared her burden. then she took a step back.

"I don't know what will happen now," she said helplessly.

"You'll figure it out, just follow your heart and you'll be fine," Alaric said to her.