The Tales of love- II

43.7:"Colours".

She looks at the clock in front of her as she feels her entire existence being questioned. She doesn't know what she should feel about losing her child before even knowing about it. But then she thoughts about if her child was there in a house like the one she lived in, was it fair to the child?.

She can make decisions about her children lives even when she wasn't given much choice on her own life, would she want them to become someone similar to her husband?.

The answer is a clear no.

She didn't realise it but sacrificing herself for the sake of other people isn't getting her anything. Her children don't deserve to live in a place and a world of constant fear, anxiety and mental issues and she didn't deserve it either.

She sits with her hands around her knees when she heard the knock on the door as the door opens and in walks Waqas with a tray of snacks.

"I don't know about you but I love snacks". Waqas said softly as he placed them all in front of her scratching the back of his neck, "Also, I have no idea which one you like so I bought all of them".

She smiles slightly nodding as she picks a pack of chips opening it but losing her focus on eating going back to her deep thoughts.

"What are you concerned about?". Waqas asked gently as he sits in front of her watching the distress on her face

"Why does it seem like my life is ending?".

"Is it?".

"I don't know. I have a fear that when I take this step there will be nothing at the end of it".

"It natural to be afraid of a tunnel whose end is not in sight". Waqas said shrugging, "But you still trust the people who made that tunnel to have build a better end when you reach it, don't you?".

"Yes. But this is the tunnel I am walking it and no one made it for me. I don't trust myself".

"The fact that it is your tunnel says everything. You can make the end as you wish without having any interference and opinions. You can make the end you have desired for".

"But why does it feel this way?".

"Because that is how you were taught and millions of women around us. Once they enter inside the marriage they are just taught about what will happen if they don't obey their in-laws, husband and more and what will happen if they were to end it. The constant fear and people highlighting all the women who had it worse after ending something terrible (marriage) in their lives has a strong impact on our minds to make it think that without this marriage we will be nothing".

"Is it true?".

"No. Marriage is not even an obligation in our religion how is that it is taken as a tool to measure one's worth?".

"It isn't?".

Waqas shakes his head, "Yes, it is something loved by Lord and it is something made to keep us away from the sins but it is still not something one needs to do".

"I thought it was compulsory like breathing".

"Again that's because people made it that way".

"What will I do with my life?".

"I think you forgot something".

She looks at him confused, "What?".

Waqas smiles a rare smile that she hadn't seen in his stay here, "You are just eighteen years old. You have a whole life ahead of you to make it whatever you want it to be".

She didn't say anything as Waqas leaves after a while and she stayed in the bed thinking everything through. Though she liked the idea of love she wanted something more worthy- respect.