Crashed On You

Kabanata 20

They were looking for a cheerdance leader.  Sabay kaming nagaudition ni Rafaella kahit isa lang naman ang kukunin. Almost twenty kaming naglaban laban for this position, halos lahat yata ng member ng club ang sumali.

" Rafaella Dela Fuente. " Napatiim ang mga labi ko ng marinig ang pangalan nito na inanunsiyo kung sino ang napili.

I have been practicing so hard for this position, gustong gusto ko kasi maging cheer dance leader. I guess that's an achievement as a cheer dancer. Nagbuntong hininga ako tumingin kay Ella na gulat na gulat.

" Really?" Manghang wika nito at napatakip pa ito sa kanyang bibig.

Pinipilit kong ngumiti kahit na kumikirot ang dibdib ko. Pinipigilan kong umiyak kasi dapat maging masaya ako, sa daming nagaudition at least isa sa amin ang nakuha.

" Congratulations Ella!" Ngiti ko at niyakap ito.

The reality of world was so cruel, she's always the first choice. Siya lagi ang winner, nasa top, laging hinahanap. She's an epitome of perfection. Lahat yata kaya niyang gawin.

Kahit kailan yata, they never chose me.

She's always a priority. I grew up being compared to her.

" Bella.." I stopped when she called me. " I told Ms. Samson, that I am not the one who performed during the audition." Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

She was referring to our coach in cheer dancing.

Napaawang ang mga labi ko. " I told her that I am not feeling well that time, that's why I asked you to perform as my substitute."

" Ella, ano ba sinasabi mo?" I hissed, she did great on her performance.

She smile sweetly. " I know Ms. Samson, she wanted me to become a leader.  Kahit pa maraming mas magaling, she will still choose me." Saad nito. " You did a great perfomance Bella, and I know you give your best for this."

Umurong ang dila ko sa kanyang sinabi. " You're not giving attention in our Ballet class, or giving an effort to do our home works. But this one, I saw how you dedicate yourself to practice so hard to win this position."

Napaawang ang labi ko sa gulat, at nagsimulang uminit ang sulok ng aking mga mata sa kaligayahan na nararamdaman ko. Though I am  not telling her, how I badly wanted to become a leader.

Even the world hate me, judge me and disgust me. I know she's the least one who will make me feel unwanted.  She was soft and weak, yes. But she always considering my feelings in every situation. Kahit na gaano niya pa kagusto ang isang bagay, kapag alam niyang gusto ko din iyon. Magpaparaya siya.

The world wanted me to hate her cause she got everything, but she didn't gave me a reason to felt jealous.

.

Nakatulog ako sa sobrang pagod, narinig ko ang pagbukas ni Katya ng aking kurtina. Ang aking katawan ay nanlalambot pa rin at nanghihina.

Wala akong ganang tumayo o kumain man lang, mas lalo kong ibinalot ng kumot ang aking katawan. Ang aking mga mata ay inaantok pa din, at sobrang sakit ng ulo ko. Marahil ay nakatulog ako sa pagiyak kagabe. Muli nanaman sumagi sa aking isipan ang mga impormasyong nalaman ko.

Kumirot ang dibdib ko at mabilis na umiling at ibinaon ang mukha sa malambot na unan.

" Magtatanghali na Señorita!" Anunsiyo ni Katya ngunit hindi ako nagpatinag.

Tinatamad pa akong tumayo. Dito na rin ako sa silid ko nagtanghalian.

" Nagdidiet ka ba?" Puna ni Katya sa akin pagkatapos kong nakatatlong subo.