Universal Heroes- Book 3

5~5

Alex
It was about 2:30 in the morning and I felt someone poking my face. After it got too annoying to ignore, I finally sat up. It was Sub.

I was sat in the living room, surrounded by my friends' unconscious bodies. I remembered that we had spent the day taking Blue Moon to all of our favourite places, then coming home to watch movies until midnight with lots of snacks and drinks. I don't even remember falling asleep but damn was that fun.

"What are you doing up so early?" I whispered to Sub.

"I wanted to talk to you for ages but I couldn't find the right time. Come with me." he whispered, then pulled me with him without hesitation.

Sub took me to the roof. The full moon was out tonight and the sky looked beautiful. He sat next to me looking down at his socks and I soon got a hint of what he was thinking and what he was about to say. I was dreading this moment for months now, though I knew it was coming and I didn't want to say anything in case he didn't want it to happen.

"Remember when we like...first started? Sub asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course I do..." I replied.

I could tell our minds were in the same place. When I got my ass kicked by some villain I couldn't quite remember and Sub mustered up the courage to finally talk. I remember watching Sub in a state I had never seen before - it wasn't his usual neutral death stare which would be the biggest hint that you were about to be murdered, he actually looked angry. He changed so quickly in that moment — for me.

Since then we had been together for about 2 years, but ever since that incident where I completely lost my mind and went psycho, nothing had been the same. I sure as hell knew I mentally scarred him for life with the way I acted. I could tell in the way he came off to me. I would hate me too for the way I was; in fact I do. I couldn't apologise enough for it. I foresaw this situation play out in my mind in so many different ways.

"..when we were happier.." I continued.

Sub looked up at me like he was surprised. I just wanted to get this overwith. I already knew my demon was going to irritate me and I swore to myself right then and there that I wasn't going to lash out like I did last time. I am better than that.

"So you know don't you..I swear it's not you at all..I just haven't felt that comfortable and after all we been through, you can tell it's going to pieces." Sub said softly.

I knew it was deeper than that.

"Of course you weren't comfortable..but after that incident I know you felt trapped. I mentally scarred you and I can't ever take back what I said or did to you..to anyone for that matter. And I can't even apologise enough to make it up to you." I could already feel my chest getting heavy like I was about to cry and I couldn't breathe. I tried to hold myself together as I continued to speak my thoughts.

"I say this as your friend, I want you to be happy.. hell, that's all I want for everyone. And I just wish I could change who I was to you because things wouldn't be falling to pieces like this if I hadn't fucked everything and everyone up. So yes, it is me. Entirely my fault, and I never want you to blame yourself or anyone else for what I did." I said.

Sub sighed. "I also don't want you beating yourself up for it though. Corl told me - you're better than you were back then and I know you feel bad. I could hear it in your voice. I just don't want you to hurt yourself again because of your demon. You can't control it and I understand that."

That was the problem. It fucking hurt like hell to control my demon and prevent myself from relapsing. It literally felt like I was being killed from the inside out. But I knew why I was doing it; to protect everyone.

"So...friends..? We don't let any of this ruin our friendship, right?" Sub asked nervously. He held out his pinky finger.

"Friends." I answered, sealing the promise.

While I knew the future pain this one event was going to bring me, this moment truly felt like some weight had been lifted off my back. I could tell Sub felt the same when he laid back on the roof. He pulled my hand like he wanted me to do the same, so I did.

"I never got to tell anyone this yet but I just wanna say that all of you mean so much to me and Sunny is just fucking up my mind. I couldn't forgive myself if she killed any of you." Sub admitted.

I never thought of the situation the way he did. To me, and assuming to the others as well, it was a normal barrier to conquer. We were given powers for a reason, we were destined for this kind of stuff. Inside myself I knew even though my emotions could get the best of me, I could take her on with the other pals no problem. And that's what we will do. And that's exactly what I told Sub.

Sub smiled for the first time tonight and I felt warm inside knowing that we were able to deal with this and still be best friends. We talked for what felt like ages until we both got tired and called it a night.

I watched Sub enter his room from my bedroom window, then lay in my bed. Of course my demon did not wait a second to make me feel like shit again.

What the hell was that? Do you know what the fuck you just did?

"I know what I did and I'm happy about it. Not everything is about us." I replied calmly, covering up in my sheets.

I felt pain rush through my entire body and the echoing sound of my demon's voice rang in my brain.

You fucking took away the only thing that kept me sane. The only thing that kept me from wanting to hurt you..to hurt myself. Remember last year? Those cuts? I still have them. Those thoughts that made you want to die? I think them everyday. I can bring back that shit in a millisecond y'know. You'd fucking die in pain just like I live in it.

I wasn't getting back with Sub for this stupid demon. For all I cared I wanted it dead. I just want to be normal..well as normal as I could be without the demon. It acted like it doesn't put me through shit everyday. The only difference was that I made a promise to myself and the other pals that I will remain clean no matter what - I have and I will continue that way.

I heard what sounded like glass breaking and the pain stopped. I stood dizzily looking around to see what it was - nothing. Then I touched my pendant and felt the small crack on it.

I will break free. If we're not a team, then I will go solo. You're the only thing holding me back anyway.

I had to remember that all this was in my head. Once it broke out I'd be nothing but a spirit without a body, then who knows what the fuck my demon would do once it got to that point.