Universal Heroes- Book 3

8~1

Alex
I breathed deeply trying to catch my breath as I brought down my forcefield. Sub stood frozen in front of me.

I was honestly left speechless about everything that happened in the past 5 minutes. My brain was working faster than my body was. Now, here I was, standing in front of the person I used to love. Behind them was someone I used to hate. And in my own skin was a demon ready to break out, but more so a mind that was warped into confusion ages ago and is struggling more and more with each day passing to sort everything out.

I knew why too; at least I thought I did. It was that I wasn't ready to accept it. To accept that this is who I am now. Who I truly always was.

Corl had now strapped Sub into one of the seats in the machine. Then he looked at me and sat on the floor in the centre of the room, assuming I got the hint.

"Kinda unexpected from someone who hates me." I said jokingly.

"Right back at you.." he said, "but I guess I'll be the mature one and apologise first: I'm sorry. And I know they're just words and I can't even say I didn't know they hurt you. I did. And I kept pushing intentionally."

"Well, something I learned is that hurt people hurt people."

"So?"

"Spit it out. There's no minor reason for you acting this way for ages and I-"

"Y'know after we resolved everything that night."

It took me a while to catch on and at the moment I realised, all the horrible memories flooded my brain and I just wanted to live in ignorance. I knew I couldn't forget it all though. I did this to myself and to all of us.

"I realised I was weak. I depended on a sword when I have these superpowers. No matter how much I tried though I'd never get it right without hurting someone. I don't know what in my head drove me to take the jealousy out on you guys but I think it just had to do with me not being able to deal with the fact that I always fuck everything up for the whole team, and the inability to use my powers just happened to be the cherry on top. I asked Elijah of all people to keep that secret for me while helping me but.."

He trailed off like he not only felt embarrassed, but guilty as well.

"He exposed you, huh?"

"I swear I was going to tell you-"

"Please everyone has their secrets." I said, giggling a little.

"Yeah so what about yours?" he said suddenly.

"There's nothing I can say that you don't already know."

"You're right, in a way. I know you dude. And I know when something's on your mind."

"What do you-"

"I'm not Sub and therefore can't read your mind, but you've been off recently and I know you're worried about something."

He wasn't wrong, but if I wasn't ready to accept the truth myself, there wasn't any way I could come clean with him.

On the other hand, Corl did so much just to prove that I was stronger than I thought. That and I couldn't leave him hanging like this. I knew venting was one of the best ways to relieve stress, coming after crying on my list.

I closed my eyes and let everything on my mind come out.

"Ever since I broke up with Sub my demon has been trying go break free which is why my pendant is breaking. It only happens when I use my powers and feel strong negative emotions but given all that's happened I'm hopeless for change. Speaking of which I'm tired and insane. I can never think straight and I know there's something wrong with me which is why I always complain but I'm so hopeless now that I give up on everything and hope it sorts out itself. And most of all I didn't want to say that you're right. I am insane. I am crazy. I haven't changed since I hurt you guys and I can't live it down. I'm so sorry for everything and I just want to make it right but I don't know howwww."

Tears had already started streaming down my face as I started to finally get a grasp of what was going on in my head.

"You wouldn't break though..right?" Corl asked softly.

I looked at him confusedly. "Break?"

"Y'know..let you demon actually get into your head and break free. You still need that pendant, it holds your power. You can't go without it for long.."

I knew what crossed his mind but he didn't want to say it, so I did it for him.

"Corl I'm not afraid of death. If anything it's scared of me."

"What do you mean you're not afraid? You've always been afraid. Why are you not?"

"I get your concern but it's simply the fact that I'm tired of it all. And if I'm granted the wish of being released from this hell.. then who am I to turn it down?"