Nagulat si Steven sa sinabi ko. Tss! Hindi niya siguro matanggap na nawalan siya ng kontrol sa sitwasyon. Alam ko na galit siya hindi dahil sa natalo ko siya sa bidding kanina, kung hindi dahil ay kilala ko siya at tinawag na Steven. May pagkasensitive pa naman siya. Psh!
Aamba na sana siya ng tira nung pinatid ko siya saka ako pumaibabaw sa kanya. Ngayon ay nakaupo ako sa kanyang may tiyan. Hawak ko ang magkabila niyang kamay.
"Don't be too aggresive darling." Sabi ko sa kanya. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya at unti unting nanghina ang katawan niya. He let his hands fall to my side.
Nagulat ako nung bigla niya akong kabigin para sa isang mahigpit na yakap. Yakap na animo ayaw akong pakawalan. Pero hindi lang yun, naramdaman ko na nabasa ang parte ng balikat ko kung saan siya nakasubsob.
"Shhh..." Hinagod ko pa ang ulunan niya.
"I miss you."
"I missed you too." Sagot ko sa kanya.
Ilang minuto pa ang itinagal bago siya tumahan.
"Bangon na diyan. Malamig ang sahig. Dito tayo mag usap." Dugtong ko pa sabay upo sa kama. Sumunod naman agad siya saka ako niyakap ulit at nagsumiksik.
"Where have you been?" Tanong niya.
"Europe."
"What did you do there? What did they do to you?"
"They kidnapped me so that I can train." Maikli kong sagot.
"How did you know all of this? I mean, the auction and... Why are you wearing this skimpy clothes?" His eyes darted on me for a glare.
"Tsh! Wag ka nang hunghang diyan! Natural magdadamit ako ng ganito dahil hindi naman pwedeng yung natural ko na ayos dahil baka may makakilala sakin. Gumana naman diba? Hindi mo nga ako nakilala agad eh. How much more pa kaya yung iba na hindi talaga ako kilala. Saka hinack ko ang system ng buong lugar para alam ko kung saan liliko. And now, we are at a sound proof room para walang makakarinig satin."
"I'm mad. I want to rip those men to pieces, those who ogled at you. I want their damn eyes out of its socket and their brains out of their shallow head." Kumuyom ang mga kamay niya.
"Wag kang galit galitan jan. Edi nabuko ako, problema pa yun. Saka hindi yun ang dahilan kung bakit kita hinigit papunta rito."
"Then what?" Tanong niya. Eto na ang kinatatakutan ko. Hinanda ko na ang sarili ko para dito pero iba parin pala pag nasa sitwasyon ka na. Humugot ako ng isang malalim na hininga para pakalmahin ang sarili ko at ang puso kong ngayon palang ay nararamdaman ko nang unti unting bumubiyak at nasasaktan.
"Listen Steven, I want this, all of this to end. Alam kong alam mo na. Wag kang tanga. Wag kang magbulag bulagan pa. Let's end it here. Kalimutan na natin ang kung ano ang meron tayo. So that we can't hurt each other more." Kahit may bikig sa lalamunan ay sinabi ko iyon ng diretso habang nakaharap sa kanya.
"Why? What are you talking about?" Maang niyang sagot.
"You know it already Steven. Hindi tayo pwede, we are enemies. You rule your Mafia and I rule a Mafia too. Oo Steven, ako ang tagapagmana ng Mafia na kalaban mo. Killer Eagle Mafia is where I belong. And I don't want to hurt you anymore nor hurt myself more. The situation is so frustrating that it slowly kills me deep inside." Napaiyak na ako ng tuluyan. He hugged me tight.
"We rule our own Mafia. Me by choice and you by force because you are destined to rule one. It was a long time ago that these mafias rivalled. Hindi tayo magkalaban ok? Hindi tayo magkaaway. We love each other."
"Sigurado ka dun?" Natigilan siya.
"I am sure of my feelings towards you. I know I love you. " Nakayuko niyang sabi. Doon ako mas naiyak.
"I love you too Steven." Madamdamin kong sabi. I hugged him back.
"Darling, is this kilig?" Tanong niya.
"Huh?"
"I said I love you and you replied I love you too. I feel giddy inside. This must be it. I feel kinikilig." Napatawa ako ng mahina doon. He stared at me for a long time.
"It's good to see you smile again darling. I made you smile today. You have to remember, whatever issues in the past between our Mafias, we can handle them. You and me rules it now and we can change the situation and start anew. You don't need to be afraid. You can tell me everything and I will listen and never judge you. We won't attack and fight each other, when we can make the breach smooth and we can unite our Mafias both." He said that while playing with my hair.
I hugged him tight at tumulo na naman ang luha ko. I need him. I need his presence to stay sane. I need his love to keep me safe.
"I... I already killed men Steven. I am so afraid of my self. So disgusted of what I've become. I..." halos hindi ko na mabigkas ang bawat salitang sasabihin ko dahil nagbabara na ang lalamunan ko.
"Shhh! You don't need to cry. Don't cry darling please. It hurts me. You don't have a choice that's why you need to do that."
"No. I have a... Choice. I shouldn't have go there and kill them on the process."
"Whether you killed one. Or a hundred or thousands. Or you massacred a whole city or country. I will still love and see you as you. You need to kill in order to survive. You were born to be a predator so killing is inevitable."
"B..but I shouldn't kill. But I killed them without remorse."
"I killed people too. We need to do that to be safe. Ok? Don't stress your self out of those petty things. I know you'll get used to it. And one day, you will thank whoever the reason who put you in that situation. You can use that on your advantage. We kill people. Not innocent ones. We kill criminals."
🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁
Andami kong iniyak dito. Hindi ko na sila pinaghiwalay pa dahil mas nasasaktan ako.
(On multimedia: Arthur Tselischev as Steven. This photo was taken at Palawan.)
Oo, ako na stalker. Malamang idol ko eh. 😜😂
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