out of the blue / n.h

Chapter 23

Finally, my eyes lock right on a medium box sized as a shoebox made out from a metal. I chuckle with tears foaming in my eyes. It’s covered with paint and there it said “Fairy Box” my dad made. I open the box and find myself an envelope.

            From : Captain Hook

          To : Peter Pan (Melanie)

I laugh and shake my head trying to hold the tears away. I put the letter back inside the box and run down to my room without forgetting myself to close the attic. I let the door open behind me and open the dusty box slowly. I let out a loud sigh as I try to open the envelope, shoving out the white letter my dad made for me. I whimper and try to manage my breathing then smile at the calligraphic syllables my dad wrote.

                     

Hi Melanie, if you are reading this then you must be old enough to read this because apparently, I made the ladder more higher than it should be so you are tall enough to reach it,

I laugh in tears.

and I made your mom promise me to convince you not to read this until you are 16 and so on. But well, she didn’t promise me to tell you. So, it’s really a relieve for you to read this because no one would tell you this.

You do remember right? Me and mom fought too much back then and the only way out for me is to let her go. 

So your mom was more than frustrated to know after we fought too much that she thought I was having an affair. I didn’t and wouldn’t do that to you guys. The truth was, all day I spent my time to the hospital for my treatment.

Tears are running drastically down my cheeks and I let my head fall back to rest it against the wall. I sob in a loud growl then curl my knee into my grip and tighten it with my arms with my head buries inside it. I hiccup from the heavy rain of tears I make. I uncollapse my grip away then try to continue the rest of the letter.

You see I have this disease that leads me to death. To cure it, I only have 1 or 2 years but the result can not be known. They said I only can count on miracles. But you see, that clearly means I ended up with death. And they also said that day by day I’m going to even look more awful and it’s more than just awful. My abdominals and bones are in highly pain that I have to live up with and to avoid the pain, I have to spend my entire year in the hospital for continuous treatments and dozens of pills to be able to survive. But what’s the point of surviving if you know from the very first you are going to die? And it’s going to cost lots lots of money.

There is clearly nothing I can do, honey. You are too precious to know what am I capable of suffering from. I can’t stand the fact that you are going to live with this kind of pressure. So I thought that you are old enough to understand the situation.

So, I left you for good the month before my death. I spent 1 and a half years giving the best I could for you and your mom and there is nothing more hurt to me than looking at how you are going to live up your childhood like this, so I decided to leave you and flew to all across the globe. I spent my time at my friends’ house. He promised me to take care of you guys. So, I write this down just to make sure that you finally aware of what had happened back then. I love you. Make your mom happy.

 

Love,

Dad.

I sob and whine uncontrollably with water dripping off of my eyes falling and making the paper wet. The door creaks open, revealing my uncle, Carl. He drops the bouquets of flowers and runs to me. When he looks at the paper I’m holding, he suddenly hugs me and strokes my hair.

“It’s okay, now. It’s over.” He whispers, trying to calm me down.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I choke, crying on his shoulder. Ruining his shirt.

“Your mom wouldn’t let me. I’m so sorry, dear.” He hugs me tightly, making circles on my back with his huge hand.

“No! You should’ve—“ I gulp down. “told me!” I sob and choke uncontrollably.

“I know, I’m sorry, Melanie. But you figured now, it’s over.” He pulls out, holding my face and wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

He spends 20 minutes, trying to calm me down. I assure him that I’m going to be okay and tell him not to tell mom about this. He nods and kisses my forehead before closing the door, leaving me with my thoughts alone. I’ve stopped crying but haven’t got over this thing. I’m still choking and sobbing without any trace of tears falling down my cheeks. And in a brief of a half an hour, I manage myself to get over it and accept the fact that it happened. I go to the bathroom to clean my face from looking sloppier than ever. My eyes are swollen despite the break down scene back there. I wipe my face with my towel and take a glance on the mirror and realize that my face is even better than before. I decide to go to my room to refresh myself by watching a television and end up watching Friends.