Hidden Marks || BTS || COMPLETED

47: Discontent

Chapter edited by jemi018

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There were many things I needed to think about, so many things to sort in my head; things that I thought I have already figured out. But I realized that all I did was manage to push them all in a corner of my mind, and now it was toppeling all out. However, for once, I didn't feel the urgent urge to push them all back in the corner, or the frantic need to deal with them.

Even as I stood in front of Ji-Ho's grave again, and the sun still didn't shine brightly and was covered by gray clouds, it didn't feel like I was suffocating this time. I was no longer on the floor weeping what could have been.

Instead, I stood in front of his grave, my dad and Chu-Hei next to me along with the seven boys who were slightly in the back to give us our time first to pay respect. I held onto a bouquet of forget-me-nots nestled into my arm, a variety of shades of blue, purple and white; these were Ji-Ho's favorite flowers. Lilia once told me that they represented true love, and by giving someone these flowers, it meant you truly loved and respected them.

I wondered if Ji-Ho ever gave or received these flowers from Do-Yun, and if he did, I wondered how he felt.

I didn't know how long time passed as father and Chu-Hei paid their respects and began telling Ji-Ho what they wanted to tell him, but I didn't feel rushed. Even as they said their final words and placed gentle hands on my shoulders, I didn't feel rushed.

Even when my father and sister left to give me and the boys time with Ji-Ho, I didn't feel rushed.

I watched as Namjoon was the first to kneel in front of my brother's grave and bowed down, forehead touching the back of his hand that was pressed down into the wet grass. The rest of the boys slowly followed suit to also pay their respects, and I stayed standing, observing them. My heartbeat steady and my breathing calm as Namjoon straightened up first and placed down another bouquet of flowers he brought along.

"My name is Kim Namjoon," he began to speak to my brother, "I'm 24 and I work in a tech company...I'm Sera's soulmate, but I haven't really acted like one for a long time. I-I want to treat her well and give her all the love she deserves, and I hope one day, you can forgive me for hurting your little sister."

His words didn't tear apart my heart.

Slowly, the rest of the boys began to introduce themselves.

"I'm Jung Hoseok! Your little sister is really someone amazing so I'm really grateful to be her soulmate. There's a lot of things we still need to do to make things right, but I also love Sera a lot!"

Hoseok, to me, always reminded me of the sun; so bright and energetic. He was someone that just pulled people in with his warmth. I was also one of those people drawn into the sun, but then I realized that just like the sun, he could burn.

"Hello Ji-Ho, my name is Kim Seokjin, i'm a surgeon and I'm about to finish my internship. Sera also wants to be a doctor, so if she chooses to follow that field, I'd like to also walk along her in that path. I would love to see Sera in the hospital healing others now...She's a really kind and gentle person, and that made me fall in love with her."

Seeing Seokjin for the first time, I noticed straight away how handsome he was, and how gentle he seemed despite his broad shoulders and an intimidating look. He was someone who was smart and intelligent; wants to help others in pain. He was a doctor after all, his nature is to help someone.

To him, I was just like any other patient that needed saving.

"I'm Park Jimin, and I'm a dancer. Actually I help Hoseok a lot at his dance studio. I'm 21, so Sera is actually my Noona, but I still love her a lot. She's so beautiful, and I think she's the most beautiful with a smile on. I also made a lot of mistakes, but I love your sister so much and I don't wanna let go, so I hope I can become someone you can feel comfortable leaving your sister with."