Hidden Marks || BTS || COMPLETED

35: Warm Tears

[Unedited] (Side note: What I mean by unedited is that all I did was a brief over view to catch the major mistakes, but not a throughough edit)

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As I look back at my twenty-two years of life, all I can ask myself is, "What have you been doing all this time?" The question was embarrassing to answer, as it was nothing. Twenty-two years of this life, and I have done nothing but wallow away in my own self-pity and instead of attempting to fight for my own happiness, I used a silly excuse of a promise to give up.

The reality is, giving up your own happiness is easier than fighting for it.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I only chuckled at the pathetic person I was being.

Here I was, privileged enough to be living, to travel across the world for a vacation, and I spent one out of the two days spent here crying instead of enjoying myself.

All because I couldn't face reality.

For the past twenty-two years I haven't lived at all, with the dumbest excuse that I was waiting for my soulmates to begin living my life. I did everything anyone wanted me to do, conformed myself to please others and become the person they wanted me to be. A bright and cheerful Sera, who was diligent and hardworking. Someone who was selfless and was constantly thinking about others.

Sera wasn't selfless, she was selfish. She sacrificed her own happiness, no, she didn't fight for her own happiness, because she wanted redemption if one could even call it that. Wanted Lilia to be happy, so Ji-Ho would be proud of Sera.

It was stupid.

Clenching my left fist, I reached for the phone on the counter, and tapped to call Yoongi. I didn't check for the time in Korea, nor did I care much anymore. I wasn't going to call Baekhyun, because this didn't concern him, this concerned me and my soulmates. It was a matter that couldn't wait anymore. After all, it's been nearly four years since I bonded with them.

The call rang for a few times, before there was a moment of silence, and a groan broke through the speakers as it was Yoongi most likely checking the time. It took a minute for Yoongi to wake up to form words and coherent thoughts before his raspy voice spoke through the speaker on my phone, "Sera, what is it?" Yoongi wasn't annoyed that Sera called him at an ungodly time, and while he was tired, he was glad Sera actually called him, "Is everything all right?" It still would have been nice if she called him when it wasn't one in the morning in Korea.

I contemplated on actually talking about what I intended to when I called him, questioning if he could actually register what I was gonna tell him. So I simply stated, "The Marks," it was the most vague shit anyone could say, and here I was, hoping an exhausted Yoongi would understand.

"What about our Marks?" I heard the confusion in his voice, and imagined how his face would scrunch up as the rest of his sleepiness left him as he grunted, probably sitting up now.

For a moment I didn't speak, but just stared at myself in the mirror, but more specifically my marks, as I set my phone down on the counter to trace it softly. It was as if I were to press too hard, the makers would fall off. The lines suddenly seemed foreign to me, as if I wasn't born with these marks, that they didn't grow and develop alongside me. My touch became barely noticeable when I neared the edges, and wondered just how different it was from the boys now. Just how much my soul has changed.

I wouldn't ask Yoongi the stupid question of, "Would we have fallen in love if I didn't have the marks?" The answer was clear: no.

Without the marks I probably wouldn't be standing here in Chu-Hei's home in California.