Hidden Marks || BTS || COMPLETED

27: Promise to Return

Money for the trip to America wasn't the problem in all reality, after contacting several of my relatives, I have various places I could stay. The only thing I have to worry money wise once I'm there, is transportation and food. Suddenly never learning how to drive is beginning to haunt me, after believing I was going to stay in Korea for the rest of my life, I always thought there was no need to drive.

Also, getting in a car wasn't easy for me, let alone to be the one driving it.

The only problem I seem to constantly find myself stumbling over again, was how to tell the boys I'm going to America, especially with the brief talks of them wanting to spend fall break with me.

Kimie kept telling me to not worry about it, and that the boys should understand, and if anything, I can go to America during winter break.

"Flight tickets...you're going to America?" A quite voice interrupted my thoughts and startling me as I jolted up, feeling the warm breath against my ear as I turned slightly. I was met with a pair of the warmest honey brown eyes, as they shifted to meet my own, and I noticed the frown taking place on his lips as he moved away to sit down next to me.

There was something different from Jimin, it was off, unfamiliar, something colder and yet it wasn't unpleasant. Usually he was radiating sunshine and warmth, an everlasting smile on his lips, an indistinguishable look in his eyes that seemed to never be exactly looking anywhere.

Yet it felt like Jimins gaze was piercing through me.

Chuckling nervously, I fidgeted around the screen I was currently on, guess I can't makeup an elaborate plan to tell them now, "just for fall break, it'll be a week and Kimies coming along," I fumbled on my words, attempting to make sure there was no misunderstanding and that I wasn't running away, "I know J-Hope was making plans for us to hang out and everything, he wanted to even teach me to dance. Also Namjoons got a few days off of work, and Jungkook has a few games during the break, oh I also heard Taehyung got a modeling gig too. Yoongi is even considering signing with a producer and Seokjin is about to become an attending and all," I was blabbering. My eyes didn't meet Jimin, I kept constantly clicking on different tabs on my laptop, as my mind raced with hundreds of thoughts and yet I couldn't clearly get a single one of them out.

So many things were happening in the boys lives, things that began before I bonded to them, places that I had no part in. It wasn't that I was running away out of guilt or sadness, but even I knew that certain things are happening that I have no place in right now, places that Lilia had a spot in. No matter what, all the reassurance or insecurities won't change the fact that Lilia dated them first, but it didn't mean that I have to give up either.

"I'm gonna go to America for me," I finally spoke after minutes of tense silence that settled between Jimin and I, with the blond remaining silent, allowing me to sort through my thoughts and feelings. This time, I looked into Jimins eyes, and it was still an unreadable expression, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated, especially with the absence of his beautiful smile, "To sort out my thoughts and feelings, so I'm not constantly dragging everyone down with my guilty feelings. I want to be able to find worth in myself again, to finally heal so I can come back to you guys, with full reassurance that we can make this whole soulmate thing work out."

It was the first time Sera was doing something for herself, Jimin finally realized, as his tense posture relaxed. When he noticed that Sera was looking at tickets to America, he did feel a mix of panic and anxiety, recalls the conversation he overheard at the doctors. Everything was already crumbling apart, and it felt like if Sera were to leave for American, everything would come crashing down.

"Okay," Jimin responded simply, reaching to grasp a strand of Seras dark brown hair and tucking it behind her ears. It was soft under his touch, and the way Sera's cheeks blossomed in a rosy hue gave him slight reassurance, "You need to breath Sera, and we haven't given you room to do it, so I think this will be good for you," Jimin wouldn't admit that it also terrified him, "You have everything settled? Like a place to live and everything?"