Hidden Marks || BTS || COMPLETED

4 : Promises and Regrets

[Edited]

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*****

I didn't leave my room.

Well, that was a lie.

I would leave whenever I knew Kimie had left for classes for the day. Occasionally she would knock on my door, to tell me there was food to eat. Kimie always made sure to tell me whenever she was going to leave and would text me when she was gonna come back. Maybe she was just trying to give me room to breathe, and I was grateful for it.

It continued like that till next Monday, luckily my doctor emailed my school about why I was missing school for a week. I also managed to finish any online assignments that my teachers posted.

I didn't want to get too far behind.

Reluctantly I woke up early this morning and began my usual morning routine to get ready for school. I was more cautious though, to make fewer sounds as I didn't want to wake up Kimie.

When I walk through the campus, I kept my head low, but I didn't even know why. I expected to feel anxious and scared to jump into Lilia or any of her boyfriends, but I felt nothing. Ever since I said those words to Jungkook, I felt hopelessly empty.

Maybe it was because I wasn't taking my medication, and with that, I made a mental note to call my doctor later. Earlier when  I walked out to the living room, I didn't see any of my pills on the ground, which Kimie most likely cleaned up. Now that did cause me to feel something, guilt.

"You're finally up and walking darling!" I heard a familiar and comforting voice behind me, as I stopped walking and turned around. Baekhyun with his dazzling smile and warm eyes stared back at me.

Not with pity, sadness or with cautious eyes, but his usual self.

I was grateful to him.

When he reached me, he engulfed me in a hug without another word, and just held me there. In his arms, it always felt safe and reassuring, but it didn't ever fill that empty feeling. However, with nearly a week of isolation from people, I really just needed to be held.

So instead of pulling away, I buried my face into his chest, as I wrapped my own arms around him. In return, he tightened his grip, resting his chin on my head, as he murmured a simple, "I'm here, you're not alone Sera."

Those words caused a faucet within me to turn, as the tears came slowly at first, but within a few moments, I was sobbing in his arms, "Everything hurts Baekhyun," I knew people were staring, but I didn't care, "I wish we can just go back to high school, so I don't have to feel all this pain."

"We can't ever go back...but know, that I'm always here. You can share your pain with me, you don't have to bare it alone.

"It hurts whenever I see them together, it hurt so fucking badly."

There was a wisp of a lie, as the pain was numb, both emotionally and physically. I just couldn't figure out which was worse, the numbness or the pain.

*****

Snorting, I wanted to fling my sandwich at Baekhyun as he showered me with senseless and the weirdest praises. His attempts to make me feel better.

We were currently seated at a café off-campus, but nearby enough where we just walked there. I ended up skipping class, with Baekhyun convincing me, as he showed me that he already picked up the notes I've missed and the paper assignments he had. Guess he was planning to take me out whenever I decide to leave the comforts of my room.