Hidden Marks || BTS || COMPLETED

45: Dear Sera

The air had become quite considerably cold as the gentle wind slowly nipped at her skin, trying to comfort her but also ruin her. Yet, she could barely feel the cold, yet she was surrounded by it, to the wet grass, and the cold headstone that she pressed her back against, with knees to her chest as she tried to curl herself into a bowl.

    "Ji-Ho, everything you told me was a lie," I bit out, trying to hold my sobs in, even if no one was around. I didn't want to cry infront of my brother, I just wanted to laugh and smile with him, yet even the forced smile wouldn't come out, "I don't know anything at all. You told me soulmates were something so beautiful, is something so beautiful supposed to hurt this much?"

    Every step forward I took felt as if it were nothing with Namjoon's confession, as if I never left the starting line, and I no longer know what to do. That everything I tried to do meant nothing, and I was falling back into the water. I even snapped at my own mother, so how was I supposed to even come home? That place hasn't even felt like home in such a long time. It was filled with so much memory that I wanted to hold onto, but also let go at the same time.

    "Were you ever happy Ji-Ho?" I asked, "Were the smiles you gave me ever real or where you also forcing them to?" I wouldn't get a response, but I wished so desperately that magically he would appear infront of me, and engulf me into a hug.

I just wanted to talk to Ji-Ho one more time.

If he were here, everything would have been fine.

"I met my soulmates, but I met them a while back ago and I just didn't want to tell you, because I thought you would have been disappointed in me. You wanted Lilia to be happy, and it seemed like she was happy with my own soulmates, so I didn't want to ruin it. Things happened, a lot of people got hurt, but I ended up being with my soulmates, and Lilia went ot the states. I'm sorry, for being such a bad sister, such a bad daughter, a bad friend and a bad soulmate."

"I'm about to graduate college, and I thought I knew what I wanted, but I don't know anymore. I just wanted to do things that would have made you proud, but even I think I failed at that. I thought everything would be alright after I was with my soulmates, but nothing is. I don't know what to do anymore, so please, please tell me what to do."

Without even meaning to, tears began to spill down my eyes as I weeped. I weeped for everything that had occurred, I weeped for Lilia, for my family, for my soulmates, and for Ji-Ho, who's life was cut too short. There were no going back to the past, no matter how much I wish to, and I thought I could have gotten over it, realize that there is no point in regretting the past, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

The sun did not shine that morning or afternoon, covered by dark gray skys, showing that it would rain soon. When? It was only a matter of time as the air only got colder, and Sera stayed seated on the grass, no longer crawled up into a bowl as she stared at the sky. No one would be at the cemetery during this weather, and even if it did begin raining, Sera doubted she would even bother tyring to get up. Her limbs felt so week that her arms would give the moment she tried to get herself up.

"Sera..." A voice called out to her, and she made no move to turn to her father who had finally found her, "Its cold," he spoke, having already came prepared with an umbrella, a large blanket and a steel cup filled with warm tea. Laying the blanket over his daughter who still made no attempt to move, he then sat next to her as well, placing the other items on his hand down, "Hey there Ji-Ho," he greeted his son as well, rough callous hand ran over the rigged surface of the tombstone, "It's been awhile."

"Your soulmates...Chu-Hei told them to give you space, they were going to run out to find you, so don't be angry that they didn't come. Taehyung and Jungkook managed to escape and running about town to find you, but I doubt they'd look here," Jun spoke, gently throwing his arm across his daughter's shoulder to pull her close to him to warm her up, "Did you talk to Ji-Ho?"