Saved By A Mikaelson (Loving a Mikaelson AU)

Chapter 19: Supposed To Be

this chapter is going to be intense and it will make you really happy I hope you like it

Chapter 19: Supposed to Be

Song: The Words- Christina Perri (go like the video, watch it, comment! It's great let's all support Colin!!!!)

"Sometimes really terrible things happen to really amazing people."

-Damon (To Liz Forbes *sobs*)

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Most of the drive after that little outburst had been pretty silent.

It was awkward and the whole way I'd felt the need to say something or run far far away.

"We're here." Kol says, as the car slows to a stop in his now familiar driveway. Normally I would've snapped a snarky comment like 'obviously' or 'duh,' but I just feel so exhausted. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of trying to make an effort, I'm just tired of everything.

I avoid his eye when I tread towards the trunk to grab our grocery bags. "We better get the food inside before it gets too cold to even be out here." I say, my eyes at my feet.

It's freezing in this weather. My teeth chatter and I'm already shaking. I hate the cold. It's always been a silly weakness of mine. I'm just so sensitive to it. 

"Can we just talk about this?" Kol asks, rather abruptly. My gaze snaps up.

"Talk about what?" I demand.

"Do you propose we pretend that the conversation in the car never happened?" He questions stubbornly. "Well what am I supposed to say?" I ask.

Kol sighs in exasperation.

My arms are wrapped around my body, and I try to keep myself still to keep from shaking. The wind is blowing like crazy, which doesn't help with the already declining temperature. I don't have a coat.

"You're shaking, sweetheart. I'll get the groceries, go inside."

I shake my head defiantly. "Not going to happen. I'm fine. Besides, I want to hear what you have to say."

He shakes his head. "You can do that inside, in the heat. Stop this."

I give him the same answer again, less nicely this time.

"What do you want me to say, then?" He asks. I scowl. "I want you to tell me who you are. I want you to tell me why you keep secrets from me and why you don't seem surprised when mine slip out! I want you to... To..." My mind is racing and it's hard to talk when you're trembling.

"I can't do that. Not today. If you don't stop this and go inside you won't live for me to tell you. I'm beginning to worry that's what you want."

"You think this is some petty suicide attempt?!"

"No, I think you're being too stubborn for your own good. But if you won't go inside, let me keep you warm." He smirks, and walks close to me, wrapping his arms around my own and pulling my body into him. 

"Kol." I groan. Before I can get another word out, my head is in his chest, his arms around me in a sort-of hug. He kisses my forehead. "Don't do that." I whisper. "You're acting like this because you feel obligated to. You pity me, you feel sorry for me. Don't do this because you have to."

He shakes his head. "You still don't get it. Darling, I do what I do because I desire it. As do you." His nose almost touches mine, and I can feel his warm breath on my lips. I can almost taste his tongue when he speaks. "This isn't about sparking jealousy in others, or making you feel better with silly gestures. This is real. Don't I feel real?" He lifts up my hand, which is wrapped in his, and kisses it to prove his point. "Doesn't this feel real?"

"I can't do this with you." I say. But he's already cupping my cheeks and I know where this is going. And I'm scared. I'm nervous and tingly and his touch drives me crazy in every place that I feel him, and my stomach is filled with butterflies and my heart is speeding up and I'm scared. I'm not scared of him, but maybe what would happen if I were to lose him.

"Stop." I whisper, when he's centimeters away. But he grins, mischievously and excited. "No. I am doing this because I want it. You want it. And then only way you'll be able to stop me is if you make me stop." He says, drawling out every syllable and whispering it so softly and slowly so only we can hear it. We're the only people in the entire world, it seems. He gives me chills and he isn't even finished. He whispers something else: "But when I'm done, you won't be able to." His words are so sexual and intimate I shouldn't even hear them so quickly in this strange relationship, but now I feel like I've known him for an eternity. And the tension is so high I'm going to explode and that's right before he leans in...

And kisses me.

And he's right. I can't stop him even if I tried. I'm mesmerized. Lost and found at the same time. Is this what it's supposed to feel like? I feel like I'm safe. I feel like I'm home. And he's kissing me and I'm kissing him back and neither of us can break away because if we do it seems like the world will shatter before our very eyes. 

And now I don't feel broken. I don't feel empty or scared or unhappy.

I feel untouchable.

I can't bring myself to regret or worry. All I can do is jump off the cliff, sell my soul, and hope that Kol Mikaelson is there to catch me. 

Maybe that scares me the most.

ONLY READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY 100% CAUGHT UP ON THE ORIGINALS AND THE VAMPIRE DIARIES AT THE MOMENT:

OKAY I HAVE WORN THE SAME IAN SOMERHALDER FOUNDATION SHIRT FOR TWO DAYS AND I HAVE A TISSUE PILE ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE KOL IS DEAD NOW FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME SHERIFF FORBES IS DEAD TO PROMOTE A SHIP A FUCKING SHIP THAT I GENUINELY CANNOT STAND KOLVINA IS DEAD HAYLIJAH IS DEAD AND ALL WITHIN A FOUR-DAY PERIOD WHY WHY DOES JULIE DO THIS I AM SO FREAKING PISSED

RANT OVER.

On a happier note I haven't had school all week, it's been snowing like crazy. Over eight inches so far, and it's gonna be around zero degrees tonight 0.0 which yanno is good for writing, bad for cabin fever. 

Loves,

Molle x