Saved By A Mikaelson (Loving a Mikaelson AU)

Chapter 30: Too Late

Mom just went to the store. One thing led to another and now... I'm pretty sure I'm in a food coma. #noregrets There's a Dean pic above bc I love him and the quote works and it's spn day ;)

Chapter 30: Too Late

Song: I Hate You Don't Leave Me- Demi Lovato

(this song is so unbelieveably perfect for this chapter just listen okay^^)

you're the perfect drug when it hurts like hell

+ + + + +

I march into his room, throwing open the door. He grins when he sees me, thinking I'm here because I'm into him or whatever. He's laying across the bed with a sort of 'laid back' attitude. "I see you've changed your mind." Kol chuckles.

"Not exactly."

I reach into my jacket pocket - or Kol's jacket pocket, rather, pulling out the photographs. I throw them onto the bed, they fall so all of them are visible. Kol raises an eyebrow at the sight of them. 

"Now what you've got to understand about that - " He begins before I so rudely interrupt.

"Don't start. I already know. I knew you wouldn't tell me a thing. So I did what I had to."

"I'm not surprised. You don't have to say a word, I already know. You talked to Klaus. I told you that was a bad idea. I'm almost surprised you came out in one piece. What would've happened if -"

"I can take care of myself. Stop changing the subject. I'm not the main focus here."

"You can take care of yourself against oldest and most powerful living vampire in the entire world? Is that what you're telling me? That I shouldn't be focused on the fact that I am legally responsible for you and you could've been killed?! I've told you before, sweetheart, he won't think twice."

"Well obviously he's completely bloodthirsty without any self-control." I say, gesturing to my 'perfectly intact pieces.'

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I ask. "Yes." He relies almost immediately. "I always told you I would. You just had to find out from someone else." I can hear this foreign hurt in his voice that I'm not used to. My eyes widen at his audacity, he makes me so angry I could throw something. I can't believe he would say that. I actually gasp.

"HOW DARE YOU! You know how I am! You know how I felt about it! I can't live a life with uncertainty and a mountain of questions! If you know me so well, you would know how much of that I've had already!" 

I realize I'm sort of screaming at him, and his face softens a little.

"You can't expect me to not ask questions. You can't ask that much of me. I'm sorry I've "disappointed  you", but come on. I-I was right... From the very beginning I was right. You're a murderer, Kol."

"Yes. And you should've ran. That first night. You should run now."

"You complete asshole, Kol Mikaelson!" I yell. "I can't run! You know I can't run! I wouldn't, even if I had a place to go. I promised myself I wouldn't be like everyone else, that I wouldn't make the same mistakes. But I messed up, just like you knew I would. You were right. You were always right... About everything! I. Can't. Leave. You. After everything, don't you get it? I don't care what you are. I don't care if you have two thousand years on me. I'm just too far gone. Are you happy, Kol Mikaelson? You won. I fucking need you, dammit! I hate it. You're right, I should've ran. If you remember correctly, you probably would've chased me, but I should've ran. But now it's too late. Now I can't. I hate you. You did this to me. You sucked me in. I SWORE I wouldn't let you in, and it happened anyway. I hate you, and I don't know what it is you've done to me, if it's all crap or not, but I need every single part of you."

And before I know it, before I know exactly what I've said, he's grabbing me. My lips are on top of his and I love it. I love every touch, every breath.

His tongue is hot and my hands are grabbing his hair and every single thought, angry feeling, every word, is gone from my mind. I don't know what any of this is. I don't know what we are or what we're doing. But suddenly I wonder why I was ever sad or confused or worried. I had him. 

I've had him all along, right in front of me, and I feel pretty fucking okay.

Everything is so hot and steamy it's like out of a movie. No one has ever, ever touched me like this. No one has ever made me feel like this. I sound like a fanfiction or a chick flick, but it's true.

I hate and I crave him. I don't know what it is or what's washed over me, but I'm not even worried about it. I don't second guess it, or regret it, or over think it. I don't shove him away, I only bring him closer to me. I need him close. As close as possible.

My head is muddled and flustered. I couldn't tell you my name, but I certainly know his. 

Kol. 

I used to hear that name and roll my eyes. I used to hear that name and despise it. 

Look what's become of me now.

And suddenly, I'm not so scared anymore.