Saved By A Mikaelson (Loving a Mikaelson AU)

Chapter 25: On My Own

Chapter 25: On My Own

Song: Say You Like Me- We The Kings

"Isn't it funny, the things we haven't thought about in years still have the ability to make us cry."

-Felix

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I wake up to empty sheets.

Well. How romantic.

At least I'm waking up to sunlight this time, instead of the middle of the night. I can hear the birds from outside my window, but other than that and my quiet breathing, there's a whole lot of silence.

Thankfully, Kol did leave some sort of "reassuring" note on the bedside table in which he apologizes for having to run out on me (blaming it on family business, whatever that means...), adding a few snarky comments and innuendos here and there (including promises to wake up next to me some other time), he mentions not knowing the exact date he'll be returning, but hopefully soon, and that I can help myself to a few things he recently added to the fridge's almost endless supply. For good measure, he did write one or two sweet things that I assume are supposed to win me over.

To be honest, I'm almost surprised he trusts me to be here alone.

I leave the note where I'd found it, smiling to myself a little bit on account of it.

And that's when I realize: I have this huge house entirely to myself.

This is going to be fun.

Before I can start running around exploring it, I decide it's best to take a shower. I feel so free and independent in this huge house all alone, I would bathe in Kol's huge bathtub, but I think I perfer my green apple shampoo to his aftershave.

I grab a fluffy white towel and turn the shower water so hot it's practically scalding. I take off my clothes and gently unwrap the bandages, hopping into the shower. Shortly after, my skin starts to turn red from the water's extreme temperature, and even though most the cuts from last night have healed into multiple red scratches, they still sting and burn like crazy.

It could be a lot worse if I had cut deeper, and for the most part I hadn't - other than a few times in particular. It really was a pretty dumb decison, and I feel like a pretty big idiot for doing it, but I can't go back now. I've already messed up, I've already lost Kol's faith and trust in me, I've lost my faith, and I can't change that now.

I take a deep breath, trying to shake those thoughts from my head. I can't think about that now. Last night was a low point in my life and nothing can change that. I can't do anything about it, so pining over my bad decisions are only going to make me feel worse about myself in the long run.

Instead, I condition my hair, wash my body, and try to smile at least a little. I need to do that. I need to try not to be sad, take it in small steps. I can at least do that.

I think.

People just need to understand. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be sad and depressed and upset and fragile and hateful and unloving. I don't want to hurt myself or other people. It's just so easy for things to become too much and after the last wave I can take crashes over my head, there are only so many things that make the pain go away.

After my shower, I dry off with my towel, and keep it wrapped around me as I sneak away to Kol's room. Technically, I don't need to walk around the house in a towel, but I do anyway.

I open the door to Kol's room. It's nothing that complex, it has chairs and a bed and whatever else he could possibly need, really. But it's not those things that I head towards, but rather the fancy set of drawers.

No, I'm not rummaging through his underwear drawer or something gross, but I would like to wear some of his clothes that I can actually pick out myself. I really do need to make Kol buy me some actual clothes of my own at some point. This is getting a little ridiculous.

I try not to make it look like a bomb went off or something, but I had to do some hardcore rummaging to find a pair of sweatpants amongst the outragous amount of jeans. I eventually find a grey pair with red writing that I like, and I also grab a white shirt that's sort of a v-neck, along with a black leather jacket that's a lot warmer than it looks.

All the clothes smell exactly like him to a pretty extreme degree, so it probably didn't even really whether I used his soap or not.

I feel a little insecure about the masculine and baggy clothes I'm wearing, but then again, it's not like anyone will see. Kol will surely have a field day when he sees what I have on. I'll never hear the end of it, I'm sure.

I'm almost a little lost at what to do next, but I don't grow bored so easily. I leave Kol's room, shutting the door behind me.

Now is the perfect time to do a little exploring...

So this chapter wasn't to sad :) I really don't think it's going to get much worse than the past couple ones so if you're reading this you've already gotten through the hard parts.

School is awful for me these days. I'm not getting nearly enough sleep. I am already done with it and ready for summer tbh. But hey at least there's johnlock fics to keep me sane.

Loves,

Molliex