Chapter 25: Midnight Pasts

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I know it's late okay but it's still Saturday XD

Chapter 25: Midnight Pasts

Song: No Good in Goodbye- The Script

"So, this is my new life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

-Charlie Kelmeckis

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I wake up in the middle of the night, and it becomes a new complex challenge to fall back asleep.

It shouldn't be. I'm mentally, emotionally, and somewhat physically exhausted. I'm still tucked inside his arms - Kol's, which are warm and nice.  Even though his grip is nearly suffocating, it doesn't feel that way. I feel safer than I ever have. But I also feel extremely vulnerable. The thought keeps running through my head to cover myself up. To pull away. To run or hide. 

Instead I make myself stay. I'm trying to let Kol in, but it's becoming a lot harder. When I've beaten the rule of building walls against everyone into my brain a thousand times over and suddenly I must change it, it complicates things. I'm nearly changing every aspect of my life. Every way I've done things, gone about them, is changing.

My eyes are closed, I squeeze them shut even tighter and try to make my breathing even slower with heavier breaths in an attempt to fall back asleep. It's pitch black dark outside, this should be easy. I've already fallen asleep once tonight, after all.

I try rolling over, even counting sheep, but it doesn't help. Finally, I just move in closer next to Kol, who still has his arms wrapped firmly around me, seeming unlikely that he'll let go.

I huff in frustration, forcing open my eyes.

"Can't sleep?" I hear Kol whisper in the darkness. I almost jump at the sudden sound. I didn't even know he was awake. "No, I can't." I reply in a mumble, a bit frustrated that I can't actually see his face while he talks due to the dark room. 

"That's me as well," He says. "I'm a light sleeper. How can I help you fall back to sleep, sweetheart?"

I sigh. If only I knew. "Tell me a story." I suggest. "Any story, anything at all. About you, I want to know about you."

I hear him chuckle softly, kissing the top off my head so quickly and softly it's almost unnoticeable. I think it's the little things like this that he does that makes me want to hold close to my heart and keep from forgetting. "Hmm, you don't have any suggestions?"

"You won't tell me what I really want to know?" I ask hopefully. He laughs. "No, I'm afraid not. Not tonight."

"Then tell me about your family."

"What about them?"

"I don't know..." I trail off, thinking about anything I'd ever wanted to know about him. "You aren't being very helpful, love." He says with a joking, light, tone. "Sorry." I say grinning.

"Maybe it would help, if you told me... About Henrik."

There's a silence, and then he speaks, slowly and softly like he's second-guessing every word. That scares me a little. He's so light hearted and laid-back that every other conversation is simple, and this, a struggle for him. 

"You want to know about Henrik?"

"If you want to tell me. Maybe it would help you if you talked about him. It's just... You always sound so sad when you mention his name."

"I can tell you about him, if you really want me to."

I nod. "Yes, please. If you don't mind, that is." 

He agrees to tell me the story, drawing in a breath before he begins. "Henrik Mikaelson was the kindest, and most selfless person I have known in all my years. He had long, dark hair, and his eyes, they were always so full of light. He had such good in him, more-so than even Elijah, the most noble of us all. He thought of others before himself, he was brave and loving, always truthful. He loved his family, and it was hard for him to say no to any of us, even if it meant getting into a little bit of trouble."

He pauses to take a breath. "In the end, that's what killed him."

"Kol..." I say, worried he's getting too upset or worked up. He just shakes his head. "Let me finish. It's helping, really. I just need to get it out. Once." 

I nod, and he continues his story. "One late autumn night, Henrik and my brother Niklaus went into the forest to watch the wolves hunting. It was forbidden. They were not allowed to even go near the forest, especially at night. Something happened, and one of the wolves, they snapped. Charged towards Henrik when it saw him, destroying his body and killing him. The wolf spared Nik, who had to carry my brother back to us in his arms. Niklaus watched the very life drain out of his body and his cheeks, not able to stop it. It destroyed Mother, and the rest of my family and I were never the same."

You could hear a pin drop when he'd finished. The rain on the pavement outside was like thunder compared to the silence. "That's awful."

He nods.

"If I had known it was that bad, I wouldn't have asked you to tell me about him. I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "I've had a fair amount of time to heal. The wound isn't fresh, though most days it still hurts. However, you needn't tiptoe around the subject. I think I can handle it." He says with a small smile.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?"

"I hope so." I say, resting my head against his bare chest. It just feels so... Intimate. I feel almost intrusive, though judging from the smirk on Kol's cheeks he doesn't mind. I can see better than earlier, my eyes adjusted a little more. But now I'm tired enough to sleep again, and that's exactly what I do. 

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