broken//matthew espinosa

Chapter 10: rooftop

matthew
"We should just go home." Stephanie tells me. I drive back to my house and Stephanie follows me to my room.
"Now what should we do?" I ask her, sitting on my bed. She shrugs and sits at my desk. She looks at the papers on my desk and smiles at some of the birthday cards I got last year. She picks up a piece of paper and starts reading it.
"Stephanie put th-"
"You wrote a suicide note?" She asks me. Her eyes turn dark blue. She looks at me and I scratch the back I my head.
"Why would you do this?" She yells, tears coming down her face. It wasn't that big of a deal to me. It's just a note, not like i actually did anything.
"Shh Stephanie it's okay." I walk over to her and hug her.
"Why?" She finally says. She cant even breathe because she's crying so hard.
"I was sad, okay? I was sad. Sad about Carter, sad about school, sad about everything." She wipes her eyes and puts the note down.
"How would you even do it?"
"Do what?"
"Kill yourself." She sniffles.
"I would fall off the roof. Peacefully, quietly." She nods and stands up. She grabs my hand.
"Take me to the roof." She says. I place my hand on top of hers.
"Why?" I ask her. She shrugs. I grab my radio and bring her to my parents balcony. I move the chair so I can stand on it and hop onto the roof. I get into the roof and then look back down at Stephanie. I put my hand out for her and she grabs it. She steps on the chair and I pull her up. She crawls over to the middle of the roof and lays down. I lay down next to her.
"What song?" I ask her, turning on the radio and playing the cd. She looks over the songs and chooses number 07. I smile and press the button.
"Budapest by George Ezra." She smiles.
"My favorite song." I say. I lay back down next to her and grab her hand.
"What do you think it feels like to die?" She asks.
"Good." I tell her.
"Good? Wouldn't it hurt?" I shake my head.
"Once you do it there's no going back, you wouldn't feel anything. It al goes to quick." I tell her.
"What do you think it feels like?" I ask her.
"I'll tell you when it happens." She says.
"How?" I chuckle.
"Because you'll die with me."