broken//matthew espinosa

Chapter 1: video game

matthew
Your life starts easy. You only have to jump over a couple obstacles, but that's simple. That's level 1. Then you move on to the part of your life where it's in the middle. You know like a rope that you have to swing on to get you over a boiling pit of lava? That sort of thing. But then you finish the level and move on to the hard level. In this level, there's only 2 ways to finish it. 1.) try to complete the impossible level or 2.) just die. I would much rather go for option 2.
But I can't.
You see, this option has a sour aftertaste that tastes like orange juice and toothpaste. I know, gross. You leave people questioning: where is he? Is he stuck in the game or something? When is it my turn to play? But you never come out. Once you die, it's over. Gone. There's no restarting the game or anything. And everyone misses you. They loved you. They cared for you.
You thought that by quitting the game and not even trying was a good idea. A really good idea, actually. But it's not a good idea at all. It's like that song by The Band Perry, ya know when they says: "funny when your dead people start listening?" Well she isn't kidding. Once your dead, everyone seems to care for you. They love you. Like your some important celebrity that just passed away like Whitney Houston. But in the end, they don't give a shit. They could care less about you.
That's why I'm broken.
Because know one gives a shit about me.