broken//matthew espinosa

Chapter 19: you know my secrete?

matthew
I can't just live my life not knowing about things I want to know about. I've always wanted to know more about the ocean. Ever since I was a kid. I've always wanted to know why people like the salty water, that always brings them back to the beach. I've always wanted to know why people love the salty hair look (even though it's gross and uncomfortable.) I've just always wanted to know about it. Not really about the fish and plants in the ocean, but more about the people that keep coming back to a place where it leaves you gross and uncomfortable.
The ocean reminds me of a relationship.
The tide is like a person. It comes into your life, than goes out. Rolls in, rolls out. Comes to you, says they love you, leaves you say they hate you, and then they love you again. The tides are annoying.
Relationship can be annoying.
I start my walk to school at 7:00, and it's currently 6:50. I slowly get out of bed and throw on a sweatshirt and sweats. I don't care about how I look. I grab my backpack and start my walk to school. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I take it out to see the text.
unknown number: don't you dare talk to Stephanie, or lay a finger on her
What the hell?
matt: why? Your gonna beat me up or something?
unknown number: I know your secrete. I'll tell the whole school
I stop walking. I take in a deep breath and sit down on the edge of the sidewalk.
matt: how the hell do you know
unknown number: word gets around pretty boy. If I were you, I wouldn't hang out with her. If I see you with her, your secrete is out.
I look at the cars passing me and I stand up. Nobody can know my secrete. Nobody. I guess I can't hang out with Stephanie. I finally reach school, and I walk in to see Stephanie at my locker.
"Hey babe!" She says, missing my cheek. I look at her and step back. I shake my head and open my locker.
"What's wrong?" She asks. I ignore her, and pull out my books.
"Matthew?" She only said my full name when she was mad. I looked at her, and her eyes looked like they were going to cry.
"I.." I start to say, but realize I can't. They could be watching me. Whoever it is. I close my locker and walk to class. Second period comes by, and of course, I have it with Stephanie. I want to talk to her, but I can't.
"Matthew, do we need to talk? Did I do something?" She asks, slipping into the seat next to me. I look at her and then back at the table.
"Are..are you mad at me?" She asks. I shake my head. She sighs and looks away from me. She starts to breath in and out, slowly, but than really fast. I look at her and she has her hand pressed to her forehead.
"Steph?" I say to her, placing my hands on her shoulders. She looks at me with fear in her eyes, and I raise my hand.
"We need a nurse!" I yell. The teacher looks at me and then sees Stephanie. She runs to the phone and calls down to the nurse.
"Hey, hey." I coo.
"Your okay, your okay." I look around and the whole class is staring at us, whispering to one another. The nurse runs in and holds a shot to Stephanie's thigh.
"No! No!" She cries. The nurse pokes her with the needle, and she collapses into my arms.
"No..." She whispers.
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I sit next to her on the nurses bed and regret not telling her my secrete. She probably hates me. Her eyes open and she sits up, rubbing her thigh. She looks at me and then quickly looks away.
"I...I need to go." She says, and stands up. She walks over to the nurse and leans on her desk.
"May I leave?" She asks.
"Stephanie..." I say.
"Okay honey. Come back if you need to." The nurse says. She walks out and I follow her. She walks faster, and faster, until I'm left behind.
"But I love you.." I whisper.