broken//matthew espinosa

Chapter 14: just hold on

stephanie
"She's not gone. Not yet."
"Will..will she be okay? When will she wake up?"
"We don't know."
What is going on? I hear a door close and footsteps coming closer to me. I hear some squeaking, kind of like the squeaking of a chair. Did someone sit down next to me? Something touches my face, and I feel hair going behind my ear. Who's sitting next to me? Who moved my hair?
"I never stopped caring for you." Someone says.
"I never thought you'd actually do this." He says again.
"I love you." He says again, and I hear sniffling. Is someone crying? I feel something wet touch my cheek, and I slowly open my eyes. I can see a white wall, a door, a....hospital bed?
I'm in the hospital?
My eyes open fully and I see Matt sitting next to me, with his hand pressed against his face.
"Matt?" I say groggily. His face looks up from his hand and he starts to smile.
"Your...your okay!" He says. He leaves little kisses all over my face and grabs my hand. He rubs his thumb under my probably dark circle eyes.
"What's going on?" I ask him. He sighs and squeezes my hand.
"Don't you remember?" I shake my head.
"You uh...you jumped." I look at my scratched hands, probably from the pavement.
"Oh um..yeah. I..I remember." I stutter. I look away, staring at the clock on the wall. I loosen my hand from Matts grip and place it on my blanket.
"You um...you remember why?" I nod, and sit up from the bed.
"I was being a jerk and I just want you to know that I'm sor-"
"Your sorry..I know. I get that a lot. I got it from my last boyfriend. I get it from my Mom sometimes. They don't mean it." Matt sits there shocked.
"I said I was sor-"
"I think we should take a break." I look at my hands again.
"But Stephanie I-"
"I..I think you should go." I tell him, looking him in the eye. His brown eyes get watery, but he quickly looks away. He stands up from the chair and walks towards the door. He starts to run the handle but stops.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm a douche and let you do that. I shouldn't of done that. I'm an idiot. But it looks like you don't want me here."
"Matt.."
"I'll see you later." He leaves the room and closes the door.
What did I just do?
Did I just break up with someone who saved my life?
I place my head in my hands and start to cry. He probably hates me.
"Miss. Brooks?" A nurse walks in with a clip board.
"Uh..um yeah?" I say, wiping the year off my cheek.
"We have to take some X-rays." I nod and she helps me out into the room.
I lay under the X-ray machine thing and they take some of me. Luckily, I didn't break anything.
"Okay, you seem to be okay. Do you want to go home?" The doctor asks me. I nod.
"We will just have Mrs Espinosa take you home." I sigh. I walk out into the waiting room and see Matt sitting in a chair. I walk by him and he looks up at me. He stands up and walks towards the exit. I follow him out to where his mom is waiting and we get in the car.
"Oh Stephanie in so glad your okay!" His mom says. I flash her a fake smile, and sit down in the car. She pulls into her neighborhood and I shake my head.
"I would like to go home, Mrs Espinosa." I tell her.
"Weren't you staying over for a little while?" I shake my head again.
"I think I just need to be alone." She nods and I point out what street I live in. She pulls into my driveway and I open the car door.
"Matt, aren't you going to walk her in?" His mom asks. He shakes his head and looks down at his sneakers.
"Um..thank you. Bye." I say to them. I walk up to my house and open the door. I quietly step inside and close the door. I walk into the kitchen and see a note on the counter.
I will be gone for 2 weeks. Keep the house clean.
Jennifer
I never liked calling my mom "mom". I didn't see her as a mom. I saw her more as an enemy. She was never there for me when I needed her. I walk up to my room and sit on my bed, just staring at the wall.
"He doesn't like you anymore" I think.
"He hates you." Stop.
"He thinks your a freak." I walk over to the mirror.
"Your ugly." I stare at my scratched up face.
"Why don't you die?" That last thought killed me. I press my hands on the counter and hot tears roll down my cheek. I look up again, my vision getting blurry and my head spinning. I need my pills. I open the cabinet and pull the bottle out, pouring out 3 pills and throwing them into my mouth. I sit on the bathroom carpet and press my hands to my forehead.
I have school tomorrow. I should go to bed. I walk to my bed and get under the covers. I stare at the ceiling. I start to close my eyes, but I get a text. I pick up my phone and see its from Nash.
Nash: hey
Steph: hi
Nash: you okay?
Steph: yes
Nash: okay. Have a good night
Steph: you too
I turn off my phone and put it back on my nightstand. I close my eye and go to bed, waiting for Monday to come.