monday, 4:37am
after the amazing night felix had with his new friend, he was sat alone on his bedroom floor.
it was monday, the first day of school.
felix couldn't sleep at all, it was the day he was finally gonna stop home schooling and go back to an actual school.
he was nervous, way too nervous to be normal.
he looked around himself as he shakily tried to breathed in, it's like the room was getting smaller and smaller.
"s-stop..." he whispered, hoping someone could hear and help him.
he felt trapped and breathless, like the air just wouldn't go down into his lungs.
he needed to get out, he struggled trying to pull himself up. he grabbed his phone and just left, not leaving a note or anything for his family.
the moment he stepped outside and felt the fresh air finally go into his lungs, he felt free.
he felt helpless, feeling as if he could do nothing about these feelings. they caved in on his heart all at once, making him feel trapped and unable to breathe properly.
he always felt so scared, that the feeling would never go away.
he walked around the dark empty streets with no destination, just wandering around and going wherever he pleased.
without knowing it, he found himself standing at the same bridge from the other day.
felix just stood there, staring at the rushing waters below him.
it was oddly calming, the sounds of the water.
"what brings you here again?" he heard a familiar voice say, he turned to look and saw jisung.
"i don't know, i can't sleep.." felix whispered.
jisung puffed out the smoke from his lungs, as he nodded.
"y'know, i don't understand how people can smoke." felix said, his friend looking at him strangely.
"what do you mean?" he asked.
"there are times when i can barely even breathe, and other people just ruin their lungs by smoking." felix shook his head.
"huh? you got asthma? i can stop, if you want me to." jisung asked, felix shaking his head once again.
"no, i don't. it's just, you don't know what it's like barely even being able to breathe sometimes and you're just willingly gonna fuck up your lungs." he mumbled.
"there's nothing wrong with smoking, i even used to... i only stopped after realizing how hard it is to breathe when you're having an anxiety attack." felix sighed.
jisung chuckled, "you used to smoke?" he asked in disbelief.
felix nodded, "i got into some pretty bad habits a couple years ago, for a pretty dumb reason." he said, leaning onto the railing.
"like what?" the older asked.
"smoking, drinking. i wanted to seem 'cool.' 'cause apparently fucking up your lungs and liver is cool."
felix exhaled, "i did anything to try to prove myself to them, i don't know why i tried.."
"hey, i thought i told you to stop being sad? c'mon, let's go for a walk." jisung said, grabbing the others hand.
felix stopped him, "i have to get home soon though, it's.. the first day of school f—for me..." he said, holding his arm.
"when does it start? i'll get you home before, so you won't be late." jisung smiled, tilting his head.
"eight.." felix answered, looking down.
"eight? there's plenty of time! c'mon, let's go for an adventure." jisung enthusiastically smiled, grabbing felix's hand and running with him.
——
they were standing on the outskirts of the forest, jisung about to lead him into the forest.
"c'mon, i found this last night after you left. i wanted to show you it." he smiled, felix stopping him.
"w—wait! it's almost six, i have to get home. my parents are gonna be awake soon.." felix said, jisung pouting.
"oh, c'mon! it'll be quick, i promise. i'll get you home by six thirty." he said, felix rolling his eyes, "fine, let's go."
jisung smiled and lead the boy through the forest, and eventually they came to a small clearing with a small river running through it.
"i found this last night after i walked you home, and i wanted to show you it." he said, smiling softly.
felix nodded, "yeah, this looks pretty nice actually.." he said, looking around.
felix looked at his phone, "oh shit, i gotta go home now." he sighed.
"okay, i'll walk you home." jisung said, as they both began walking out of the forest together.
——
:)
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐒 | ON HOLD
Fanfic"but strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you." in which all felix wants is to put his restless mind at ease, but when he tries, a stranger who smells of cigarette smoke comes into his life. [ H.JS X L.FL ]
